THE LAST OF US 2

I had forgotten that THE LAST OF US was only a mildly entertaining game, so I foolishly believed that THE LAST OF US 2 was going to be a great game (because people I knew were talking about it excitedly).
The fist sign of a terrible experience was that the game for PS4 has two discs. One is just a data disc that has to be loaded first. This made me cringe.
My apprehension was well-founded. That extra data was for a bad story. Not only was the writing bad – it was also political. This is a social agenda propagandist tool, not a game. I was going to instantly return it, but I decided to play it because I was streaming on Twitch and perhaps I could entertain my subscribers by insulting the extremely bad writing.
Even if the game weren’t political, the movie parts are as long as a mini-series, and it didn’t take long for me to fantasize about beating up anyone who was responsible for the creation of this annoying game. Seriously, it’s about 2 hours of actual gameplay, and 5 million hours of listening to retarded dialogue while watching an uninspired video that would make anyone walk out of a theater.
95% of the game is pointless. It’s made even worse because it is inescapable. You are forced to endure the maddening stupidity. I am not joking. It actually feels like a nightmare because your character can’t run. He or she can only walk slowly until all of the ridiculous dialogue is exhausted.
During some parts, you can opt to “skip cinematic.” Would you like to guess what that does? It brings you to a 3-minute loading screen, and INTO ANOTHER cinematic that you can’t escape, unless it brings you to another 3-minute loading screen, which then brings you to a cinematic that you can’t escape/quit!!!

I made the mistake of quitting the game after I couldn’t take any more of the incessant cinematics – when I restarted the game, I had to endure EVERYTHING all over again. I almost cried.
You get about 15 minutes of actually playing a game, then an hour and a half of being hopelessly stuck in a flashback scene, and then you play for maybe 15 minutes, and then another hour and a half of flashback scene, rinse-and-repeat.
Why did I continue playing? It was like losing money in a casino. I had lost hours, hours of hating every second of the game, but if I ejected the disc I would probably run until I saw a dog or homeless person and kick it in the head. THAT is how angry I was. I had to play just a little bit more in order to get SOME form of payoff. It really was the only reason to continue. I could not accept that I got fooled into playing the worst game ever made.

At least the intermissions in Pac Man were funny and short – and FAR SUPERIOR to the cinematics in LAST OF US 2.
By the way, how stupid is it for you to die in a flashback? Did a Polak come up with this “clever” idea?
You play several characters. I forgot how many because the only thing that I can think of right now is how to get rid of my copy of this game. I deleted all traces of it from PS4.

I imagine that the writers thought that they were groundbreaking by making you play the protagonist and the antagonist (both want to kill each other), as well as any of the man-bun faggots who depict this future as the gay version of the planet of the apes.

I would seriously rather turn into a zombie and get shot than live in that man-bun world. Also, it is more multicultural than the Barney the Dinosaur world, which means that it is not authentic – it is 100% contrived. It’s an embarrassing gimmick, wouldn’t you say?
The game is linear, and it is made even more annoying by having only ONE solution to any problem or puzzle. If you don’t figure it out, you’re fucked and stuck.

The game is also anal. In many of the flashbacks… let me give you ONE example, but multiply that by ten million (the amount of similar times it will trap you) – in one flashback, a twat and a fag with lots of hair gel, in a world that is post-apocalyptic, are on a date. They don’t discuss why all the men have hair gel and man buns, or why women don’t understand what ladylike behavior is or why the female antagonist has more muscles than a man on steroids… no, they go to an abandoned aquarium, and you, the player, MUST touch every fucking goddamn exhibit or you the scene will not end. Seriously, you MUST touch EVERY exhibit, of which there are many, and you hear trivia about each. Normally I pet the dolphin every day, but in this game you have to go through five floors of displays, unable to escape until you suffer through the explanations of each boring one.

If that weren’t pointless, you also have to find a chew-toy and make a dog play fetch. You also have to strum a guitar. Eject the game and play Guitar Hero instead.
Many of these horrible “cinematics” make me wonder why the developers didn’t just make those areas playable. Instead, we are forced to watch awful scenes that drag on and on.
I hated the zombies, and I never was much into monsters that can kill you in one shot. Wow, that’s not frustrating at all. (sarcasm) Yes, I am a fan of the Dark Souls games, but the seemingly impossible foes in that game are a joy to figure out and to defeat, and you can do so in many creative ways, but in LAST OF US 2, there is only ONE way to do this or that.
The only fun in the game is when you fight humans, but each such encounter lasts only minutes, and then you are subject to the torture of an inescapable flashback of SEVERAL aggravating scenes that last 90 minutes, as I mentioned before. I’d rather watch a faucet drip.
There are leftover mechanics that should have been written out of the code. For example, if you run toward a tight squeeze between two buildings, do you really need to press a button on your controller in order for you to go through it? There are a lot of these needless things that just pad the game time. It’s like telling the same bad joke every 5 minutes.
I seriously wonder if I can get a refund, or if I can sue for mental anguish.

BILL ZEBUB RETURNS TO RADIO

Bill Zebub returned to radio June 10, 2020, and he will continue a weekly radio show titled “The Vortex of Chaos: which can be heard in New York and New Jersey on 91.1 FM, but it can also be heard in New York City and Rockland Country on 91.9 FM.

The show is also streamed worldwide live at wfmu.org, and it is also archived for later streaming download. For example, the premiere show can be enjoyed here https://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/93846 – and the master list of all shows is/shall be here https://www.wfmu.org/playlists/VC

Bill Zebub’s Professsor Dumdum shows are still available – here you go https://www.wfmu.org/playlists/DL

BILL ZEBUB RETURNS TO RADIO