Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jailhouse Wardress

There is another version of the cover art that has a swastika in the upper right corner. I find it silly that such censorship exists, especially because this is a nazisploition movie. Imagine if there was something called KKKsploitation, and how it would not be allowed for the villains to wear their robes.

I wanted to buy an Ilsa shirt but I didn’t want the hassle of wearing art that had a swastika because I get into enough ridiculous situations wearing other kinds of shirts. Well, I do regret not buying a shirt because I could wear it at horror conventions. People would either understand, or they could be told about the Ilsa movies.

Not having a swastika in a nazisploitation movie is like making a rape/revenge movie without any rape scenes.

I suppose this censorship occurred before all of the hatred of Israel became mainstream after the attack by Hammas. If you have sex with a terrorist, then you are a hammas-sexual.

Nazisploitation movies do not glorify the Nazis. The simple formula in many such movies is a lot of sexual torture and degradation, and then the tables are turned and the movies end in comeuppance.

Getting back to the mainstream hatred of Jews, I am in shock that such a thing is happening. The stories of concentration camps were told so that the world doesn’t forget, presumably so that it could never happen again, but something changed in current society that seemingly rewards condemnation of a minority. But I should not be surprised. You see, I laugh when I hear “You should know history because if you don’t, it will repeat.” (Or any variation of that cliche). That’s like a Hallmark card. The words seem nice until you think about them. Human history always repeats. It will stop repeating only if we change as lifeforms. No matter what kind of facade we don, we are all the same and will repeat bad behavior of the past.

Let me write this review as if the recent events had not happened. I would have led with a brief description of what nazisploitation is in case a reader might not know that there is such a subcategory of movies.

The rape and sexual torture aspect of nazisploitation seems tame compared to what was done to people in Israel. If you heard the stories, then you will think that what happens in nazisploitation is tame by comparison. A part of me wonders if those recent events could become a new subcategory of movie. There is footage of those acts, so maybe…

I am referring to the brutal rapes and sexual torture against people in Israel that for some reason isn’t causing any alarm. What happened to the assholes in the “pound me too” movement? (#metoo).

Getting back to the movie; it strays a bit from the basic formula. We still see sex, but the plot is very different from the usual fare. I don’t like to spoil surprises. The story should unfold as you watch a movie. My job is to reveal other things.

I had not heard of this title before, so it was a nice surprise.

The situation of the women is not like in the more harsh offerings in this category of film, but I am in love with a few of the characters. One woman has perfect breasts, so perfect that I doubted my eyes. No, they are not implants. I despise implants, both in movies and in real life. The breasts of the actress are so astounding that I almost want to see if she is still alive and then beg her to marry me, even if she is elderly, and even if she is married already. In fact, you should get this movie just to see her breasts. If I saw a hint of them before purchasing the movie, and the price was $100, I would pay it.

The production value is not as slick as other such films, but this adds a certain charm. The aforementioned breasts were so awe-inspiring that I wouldn’t doubt that most of the budget was given to the actress out of reverence. Of course, I am joking, but the movie could have been ninety minutes of her standing topless on a garbage can in a parking lot, and I would have considered the movie to be a masterpiece.

Nazisploitation is exploitation. No, that is not a bad word. Exploitation movies show women as you would want to see them, well, in fantasy. Your daydreams probably don’t involve seeing an attractive woman and asking her to explain bookkeeping to you.

Perhaps exploitation is frowned upon, but usually only if the whiner has an audience, or if the person complaining is repressed and therefore suffering a pathological condition. It is he who is sick, not you. How could anyone not want to see breasts or shapely legs, or me in a bathing suit?

The higher forms of cinema tend to repeat cliche and to exalt humans to a status they do not deserve. Exploitation films are fun and bear no pretense. I love high-brow cinema and cannot get enough of the Czech surrealists, but I also love exploitation, and nazisploitation is often kinky. it’s like going to a carnival instead of going to a ballet. Two different pleasures, each stimulating something.

If you are an aficionado of nazisploitation, then you will undoubtedly consider “Jailhouse Wardress” to be mild and perhaps straying too far from the rules of purists, but there is no way that you will leave unsatisfied.

If you are not acquainted with the genre, you might not like the style of certain scenes because you might have been trained to expect different kind of camera work and faster pacing, and you might be shocked by seeing pubic hair.

Take a chance. See how a movie was made during a period with different mores and how they affected the boundaries and sensibilities of movies.

Think of the rapes of women in Israel and Ukraine and consider yourself fortunate that such conditions have not reached your lands, yet…

I am angry about the censorship of movies and I question the outrage that people feel about rapes in works of fiction. Where the fuck is the outrage of the rapes that are happening in real life? Yeah, go fuckin get a movie pulled from a store. A movie. You’re mad about a movie.

This review was brought to you by an intoxicated man who was eventually calmed by the perfect breasts that are in Jailhouse Wardress.

Deadgirl – Tenth Anniversary Edition

I saw this movie on DVD when it first came out and was impressed for many reasons, one of which was the originality.

This Bluray edition is released by Unearthed Films. There is another movie with the same title, so look for the one that was made by Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel. The Unearthed Fims Bluray is the unrated director’s cut.

If you were a teen male in America, you might have been asked a question that might still be going around these days, “If you were on a beach and a girl who drowned suddenly washed up on shore and her body was still warm, would you fuck her if there was no one around?”

This movie answers that question.

Of course, when I heard this question as a virgin 13-year-old, I didn’t know that a freshly-drowned person could be revived, or perhaps I was so struck with the image of a hot bikini-clad woman that I could only think of finally seeing boobs in real life (especially since the question primed me to consider sex). I think the question should be re-phrased as “Would you feel up her boobs while giving CPR?” but I don’t think this is actually a serious question. I don’t think it would ever be presented in an ethics class.

The story is a rather demented coming-of-age story in which a couple of young males discover a fresh-looking naked female corpse that seems to have been bound and raped in an abandoned building, and covered in plastic after her murder.

One of the males reflexively wants to call the police, but the other male does not see any urgency. Why not indulge some virginal curiosity?

This is the beginning of the many conflicts of the story which masterfully weave into and separate from each other. It’s a master class in writing.

Visually, the movie-makers made bold decisions. The subject matter is taboo and reviled, but the tale is presented elegantly and bravely.

In my reviews, I try never to spoil story elements. Rather, I like to inform you about what is good (or bad), and for you to decide whether or not to buy (or steal, if you are a scumbag), the movie. (If you love a movie or an album, you should purchase it. Keep killing creators and don’t be surprised if all that is left is mainstream garbage).

As shocking as this movie may seem to be to an average person, it is clever and multi-dimensional. If you are the kind of idiot who sees a nipple in a horror movie and instantly cries that it is porn, then this is not the flick for you. If you are not an idiot, then you will savor the story for its many astounding and poignant components. It’s visceral, but it is also sublime. You should treat yourself to this movie.

This edition is packed with extras. I can’t gush enough so let me end the review here.

Bill Zebub is back on the air!

Bill Zebub returned to WFMU. You can hear his first show of the new season here https://wfmu.org/playlists/shows/129904 – in that playlist there is a pop-up player.
You can consult the playlist when you are curious about the song.

The debut show was a bit more of a mix than is usual for Bill Zebub’s “Vortex of Chaos” and it shall evolve over time. When Bill Zebub’s show was in an overnight slot, he favored the ultra slow and melancholy doom, as did the listeners, but the new time slot is Thursdays from noon-3 pm (New York time zone). Adjust your time zone and your underwear appropriately.

To catch the stream live, simply go to https://wfmu.org/sheena Thursdays noon-3 pm NY time. You can participate in the chat. You can also comment on the playlist if you stream after-the-fact.
Indulge your curiosity and discover music you haven’t heard before. Of course, there will be some known artists, like King Diamond, but there will be much that almost never gets radio play. This radio station is not forced to play the hits. It is an exploration. Come in with an open mind. Also, each show may vary. It’s not like a box of chocolates because you always know what is in the box of chocolates. In fact, most boxes of chocolates provide diagrams that reveal what is inside each one. The only way this metaphor works is if you have a blindfold and have no idea what is going to be placed into your mouth. It might not even be chocolate, depending on the ethics of the experimenter. Now THAT is thinking outside of the box of chocolates.

DICKSHARK ATTACK

Rape is a Circle Re-Release

Fans have begged for a way to see the long out-of-circulation movie “Rape is a Circle.” Now is your chance to own a re-edit.

Visit https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/billzebub/catherines-pain and take a look at the delicious selections. If you are one of the people who only stream, you can still support the re-edit by pre-ordering the digital version. Of course, you can get the autographed DVD for less than ten billion dollars, which is quite a savings.

Please share the fuck out of this.

House of the Dragon Season One

I must preface this review by revealing that I did not pay for this. A friend lent me the show without telling me a single thing about it. I did not pay for it because THE GAME OF THRONES insulted fans in the later seasons. I could not believe that anyone would give any related show a chance. I certainly didn’t, until I saw it for free, and I feel stupid for wasting my time despite knowing that it was pointless to invest any attention to any material from this franchise of betrayal.

The Game of Thrones was entertaining for the first four seasons, but the shows started feeling like television-writing, with heavy use of exposition. One example is when the fat-ass brought the woman who cuckolded him to his father’s home. During dinner, the fat-ass and father talked about a sword on the wall. I knew that the sword would be stolen or otherwise appear in the next scene or two, and sadly, I was right. “Exposition” is when characters say things to each other that is meant for the viewer, not each other. Well, that’s one definition, but the show degraded so far that ALL forms of exposition were frequently used.

There were many stupid behaviors that are also silly television-writing, like in the final battle when defenders left the protection of the castle walls and engaged the enemy. I can go on, but the point is that the battle was ridiculous.

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON is much worse.

There is no nudity, even when characters enter a brother or some sort of medieval sex club. This tells me that the show was made for a particular audience rather than to tell a good story. It’s filtered for imbeciles.

Another whammy is that a group of people who are similar to albinos are played by Africans. I almost spit out my beer. Black people are playing albinos. Did the producers think that we would be fooled by the white-hair wigs? Seeing this makes it impossible to take the show seriously.

The race-swapping of characters is another indication that this is not a good story. The show exists to entertain a certain type of viewer, and I am not the target audience. When I watch loosely-based medieval fiction, I don’t want to see such a ridiculous straying from reality. Yes, it’s a fantasy tale, but it is a fantasy based on certain rules. I love the FRIDAY movies, but I don’t love race-swapping.

As I ranted about this in an online chat. I joked that casting directors in modern movies are actually human-resources managers who are adamant about afformative-action, and a member said something about Hollywood requiring something similar to human-resources. I think it has more to do with shows and movies requiring certain diversity and strong female roles, blah blah, or else the work will be ineligible for awards, but I don’t know if this is true. Whatever the explanation is, I am fearful of watching anything new because I don’t believe that modern shows or movies are focused on stories. It’s all propaganda and gimmicks.

Getting back to HOUSE OF GARBAGE, there is a wimpy man who is portrayed as a warrior. In typical television-writing, he can fight fifty men and barely get a scratch. Oh wait, he gets shot through the leg with an arrow, but he can still run toward his enemy after fighting ten million warriors who fight him only one at a time. Shouldn’t such silliness be left for afternoon television shows meant for teens?

That wimpy male is also pure evil, which is not something I want to see. It’s childish. Then again, the target audience of this show is not people who read or have social intelligence.

I could not finish the show. I wanted to quit after the first half hour, but I felt like I had lost so much money at a casino that I should play a little more with some hope of diminishing my loss, but each minute was like losing another hundred dollars. I ultimately had to stop. Even if George Martin personally appeared on screen and said, “Just kidding. Thanks for enduring this hell. For your trust, you get a hundred dollars, and now you can watch the REAL show. I hope you enjoy this prank.” I would not have continued.

I am deeply saddened that there will be a second season. I had seriously believed that the backlash to this show would be so venomous that the show would be canceled. I did not watch RINGS OF POWER or WHEEL OF TIME because I knew they would be garbage. Viewers rejected the bastardized shows, which sent a message to the creators. I held hope that more such backlash would force studios to respect the stories or to just abandon the projects if they couldn’t refrain from inserting propaganda and other nonsense. Humans have let me down.

When I was a teen, I started reading the fantasy books by Raymond E. Feist. There is a television deal for an adaptation, but I am not excited. I will not watch a single second unless I am assured that the show was made in the spirit of the books. I hold no hope.

Three Lost Bill Zebub Movies

Bill Zebub is offering three movies on a BD-R, with each disc hand-numbered and signed. It’s $35 in the USA, and all others add $20 for shipping. Email bill@billzebub.com to receive ordering instructions.

The movies are METALHEADS (from 2001), DOLLA MORTE, and FRANKENSTEIN THE RAPIST. These are early movies, so you should only get this disc if you are a big fan. The reason why these older titles are being offered on a disc is that fans have begged Bill Zebub to re-release these, but it is highly unlikely that these will ever appear on any factory-replicated disc again, being that they are only of value to the devoted fans who want to devour every piece of cinema in Bill Zebub’s history. The reason why there is no packaging is that there are fans who own the movies, some in mint condition, who should be able to sell theirs for $200 or more. Yes, when Bill Zebub’s movies go out of print, they drastically increase in value. Some have sold for $700 or more. No, these will not be available on any streaming platform.

Also, be warned that FRANKENSTEIN THE RAPIST is not actually a movie. Bill Zebub filmed test-footage to see what works and what doesn’t. It turned out that there was over an hour of finished scenes, so they were pieced together and were made available in a limited run of 1,000, with an honest synopsis that made it clear that this was not meant to be released. It DOES contain nudity because Bill Zebub really did want to see what worked, and his ideas of a Frankenstein movie had nude scenes. Some of that footage later was used in other movies because Sativa Verte and Nikki Sebastion were too amazing to be relegated to lost footage. You get to see more of those shots here.

Also, the 2001 version of METALHEADS was a practice movie that Bill Zebub shot so that when he was going to pitch his first-ever script to producers, they could see a demo movie so they could see some of the visual ideas. Bill Zebub paid the actresses even though this was just to be used as a visual example because he took the project seriously. Spending no money is equivalent to saying that you don’t respect what you are doing, and you don’t respect actresses. Speaking of actresses, Suzi Lorraine and Darian Caine participated in this. Again, Email bill@billzebub.com to order your copy.

Death to Metal

I expected to hate this movie for a number of reasons, chiefly because I have seen bad movies that centered around underground metal, seemingly to cash in on a built-in audience. Such movies had boring content, except for an occasional breast on the screen. The stories were hollow and poorly written, like the lyrics of some of the bands.

Death metal is not simply one style. If this movie used death metal as a strong ingredient, my hesitation to watch was because the creators might have been outsiders, or they might have been trendfags.

Some bad lyrics are actually what make the songs much funnier, as in the case of BATHTUB SHITTER. The band is Japanese, with a grasp of the English language that is entertaining, especially with songs like “Shit and Re-shit” which were written as a novelty. I love that band.

Some death metal bands have bad lyrics because the members are uneducated. Grammar is embarrassingly flawed. It makes me think that the writers hate reading. Bands with such members play mediocre death metal and appeal to the same kind of stupidity level as people who love Pantera.

Contrast this with bands like IMMOLATION that chose a literary path. Their early anti-christian lyrics were not vulgar and crude. They often criticized christianity with its own teachings rather than ejaculating on the face of jesus.

There are bands who write so well that their lyrics are veritable poems. I know that I have strayed from the review a bit, but if “death metal” is in the title of the movie, I want to supply some background as well as my worry that I was going to waste my time, unless there were breasts in the movie.

In the beginning, I was worried that I was in for cheese and mediocrity. Some of the characters were outside of metal, like people who had those gay plugs in their earlobes, which is pure gayness and totally alien to real metal. Another negative point is the women who had short hair and looked like they belonged in the hardcore or goth scene rather than death metal.

This gripe is personal taste. Unfortunately, hardcore, punk, and other gay trendy scenes have infiltrated metal, and I suppose that the movie represented the scene as it is today. In the past, promoters booked hardcore bands with metal bands because they thought that they could double the audience, even if it meant that there would be violence. These scenes usually did not mix well. Perhaps it’s like borderlands between two populations that hate each other. The border people sometimes mix, and that is better than fighting each other.

Now onto the positive. The movie completely surprised me. After the initial revulsion, I found myself enjoying the experience.

This was shot well. It wasn’t a lazy effort.

If you loved NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, you might detect that same essence in some of the dialogue scenes, which in my opinion is a compliment.

As for the story, it centers around an overzealous priest who gains some extraordinary abilities after coming into contact with pollutants, which would be cheesy if the movie were serious, but this sort of transformation is more of a nod to movies like THE TOXIC AVENGER as well as the lyrical content of some songs. By the time this occurs in the movie, you will have already decided that you accept all of the stylistic decisions that were made in the writing. Prior to that, there really wasn’t anything absurd.

The mentally ill priest has a specific reason for hating death metal, which you will have to see for yourself. After his transformation into the kind of villain you see in slasher movies, his hatred leads to violence. This is the horror aspect of the movie, and I will refrain from mentioning anything else of that aspect because you simply must enjoy discovering this yourself.

On the metal side of things, there is a rich world of characters in a particular metal scene. The relationships and situations were well-developed. There is a style and flavor that was well-crafted.

If you are acquainted with death metal, then you will enjoy some extra insight and you will laugh more than an average viewer, but this movie is not an inside joke. Anyone outside of metal can enjoy this.

I feel ashamed that I had pre-judged this, but that made me love the movie even more after it redeemed itself, and the redemption was fast, as in, less than ten minutes.

DEATH TO METAL is highly recommended for many reasons. It’s creative. The scenes sometimes masterfully mislead you toward the wrong predictions and then delight you with unexpected developments. It’s hard for me to refrain from giving you examples, but trust me, it’s for your benefit. The things I want to describe should be experienced by you when you see the movie for the first time.

This was very well done, and I wish great success to this remarkable film.

I have the Bluray, but the movie is available for streaming if you don’t mind contributing to the death of physical media.