Fans of Bill Zebub’s GRIMOIRE OF EXALTED DEEDS magazine have begged for a hardcover anthology. This cannot happen because there were too many Grimoires. A 3,000 page book is just not possible.
If a publisher were to approach Bill Zebub, then maybe something can be arranged, but there will be a special book coming soon. If you participate in the crowdfunder for it then you will get an autographed hand-numbered book with a front cover that will be limited to the kickstarter backers.
The crowdfunder will also have two special treats. You can get a DVD of Grimoire Girls – the photographs move on your television screen like a movie. There will also be a CD-R, or a flash drive of .mp3 audio files – the phone conversations with bands like Malevolent Creation. Bill Zebub is trying to find the Anal Cunt, Bathory, Morbid Angel, and other legendary audio, but if the great phone conversations can’t be discovered in time for the book release, they might become available at some point in the future.
Fans asked Bill Zebub to not just print the best interviews – they would like an author’s explanation. Each interview will have an introduction that will reveal some secrets, or at least some interesting information.
If you want to be notified about the crowdfunder, Email email@example.com and state that you want to be on the special list. There will NOT be a digital version of this book.
There will be some material from Issue #1 as well.
When I was a teen, I saw BARBARIAN QUEEN for the first time on VHS. I was heavily into Dungeons & Dragons, so any movie that remotely had to do with Medieval fantasy was either rented or purchased. In this case, I rented it, because in those days, new tapes cost $80.
Being that young made me forgive a lot of cheese. I wish that I could shed the critic in me, but even now, I try to enjoy what I see rather than critique it, but I can’t always do so.
In my adulthood, the DVD of this movie came out, but to my extreme disappointment, some scenes were censored. I could not understand why those would be deleted.
When I went to horror conventions, I begged bootleggers to find a version of the movie with all the scenes intact. They told me that they had never seen a laser disc for it, nor could they find a digital file.
A decade or so later, another DVD version came out, still censored, but it contained the deleted scenes in a bonus chapter. Unfortunately, these were VHS quality.
A few weeks ago, SCREAM FACTORY announced a Blu(e)ray version, and I pre-ordered it with the hope that I would not only see the deleted scenes restored, but also to see a full, uncut version with footage that I had not seen before, which SCREAM FACTORY sometimes offers.
It was not to be. This is the censored cut, and the deleted scenes are still VHS quality. I would have been appeased if the excised content were as crisp and vibrant as the main movie. It angers me that the footage was removed.
Let’s say that the footage was removed because of sexuality. Why is that a terrifying no-no? Whenever I hear someone ask the question “Is this porn?” I never regard that person as worth talking to. It’s stupid. There were actually people who criticized “Game of Thrones” for having nudity. It’s ridiculous.
Getting back to “sexuality” being the reason for the scene being gutted. Why not scrap the whole movie? The leggy outfits of the women, and the bountiful shots of naked breasts should result in the entire movie being burned. I am joking, of course. But I am not joking when I state that I despise squeamish people. They shouldn’t be allowed to watch movies unless they sign a contact that forbids them to ever give an opinion about movies or music. Fuck them.
I joined a couple of Facebook groups for fantasy writers, but I had to quite because I was horrified by the extreme stupidity of the members. It’s like they only want to write baby-stories for retards. How can characters who carry swords and daggers encounter conflict and be expected to behave in a way that would be approved by a human resources manager? Seriously, some of those idiots actually asked how to write trigger warnings in their garbage books.
It seems that even metal has been infiltrated by the brainwashed assholes. I hate this era. We are living in a period when stupidity is rewarded.
Returning to the movie, it’s not high art that would be degraded it the sex scenes were returned. Honestly, it’s a stupid movie. I like it for nostalgia, and for the boobs – but it’s idiotic, and I wonder why I loved it so much as a teen. Well, I couldn’t have loved it much because the only thing I remembered was boobs.
There was no consistent speech style. Some character talked like they were in a bible movie, while a couple talked in a New York accent with New York slang. I don’t know why that was allowed.
Watching the movie from start to finish was not easy because it was bad, and on top of that, I was furious that it was censored. But it was a fun trip down memory lane, and it was nice to see the parts that I did remember in this pristine form.
The other movie on this double feature is “Amazons” which I also saw in my early life. I didn’t remember a thing about this story either, other than boobs, but now that I am an adult, I don’t find the boobs in this movie attractive because almost all of them are fake. When I was a teen, I don’t think that I even knew that implants existed.
This story is ten times more stupid than “Barbarian Queen” and I had to take breaks from it for that that reason. Both movies have an ultra simple plot of evil warriors trashing a village, followed by a promise of revenge, and then a resolution. Barbarian Queen provides a lot of boobage along the way, but it doesn’t get as retarded as “Amazons” (the ending to that one is too infuriatingly stupid for me to write anything). While both movies could only be loved by a teen, Barbarian Queen at least was shot in the spirit of exploitation film.
Although this review is harsh, I purchased this Blu(e)ray and have no intention of re-selling it. The movies are part of my past. I’d love to get a fully restored “Barbarian Queen” but it seems like the movie industry is more interested in appeasing simple-minded people rather than providing a variety. There are some people who love offensive content, and some people like to see nudity when there are sex scenes. (Do you remember “The Last House on the Left” remake that showed a rape scene with the victim still in bra and panties? That must have been some pointy penis to have poked through the undergarment. But it’s not the only modern horror to water down shocking footage. )
This version has had some color touch-ups and will appear on the CAMPY HORROR Bluray in the summer, which also will contain the Director’s Cut of ANTFARM DICKHOLE as well as the Director’s Cut of ASSMONSTER. It will have a version of EXPLOITATION in which some of the color is not as saturated. Bill Zebub wanted a dreamy look in the original cut, with colors that were much more vibrant than in the real world. It’s still eye-pleasing, so so not be dismayed.
There is a 3+ Hour version of Exploitation that will be slightly re-edited for a future bonus, and there will also be a completely re-edited version eventually. These will be bonus movies, as will a re-edit of INDIE DIRECTOR. There are various reasons for offering new versions, but none of them are cash-grabs. These are for the ultra-fans. Bill Zebub loves hearing alternate versions of songs and he loves seeing alternate cuts of movies. This is the primary motivation – to make an ultra-fan happy the way that he becomes happy when he finds new versions.
You can also find the link at the very beginning of that interview to a crowdfunder for DICKLESS ZOMBIES. You will be able to get the limited art Blu(e)ray for the same price as the normal retail version. Other goodies await you as well – shirts, movie props, posters, and your mother. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/billzebub/zombie-a-bill-zebub-film
It is that time of the year! This sale also goes for Cybersex Monday, in case you are holding out.
All movies will be autographed.
Enjoy this alone, or purchase a box so that you can have a lot of gifts to make your favorite people extremely happy.
Also be aware that a crowdfunder for B MOVIE CHAMPION will launch soon, so if you want to be personally invited, Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Bill Zebub has also joined Bandcamp so that he can offer his music to you. For now, there are two songs from his one-man band PAINFUL MEOW, but he will add music from LIQUID FOREHEAD as well as his death metal band BLOODGOD. He might also upload music from his black metal band SVAROG. Find the kookiness here: https://billzebub.bandcamp.com
Bill Zebub is working on a horror comedy that is very loosely based on the cannibal serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.
You can participate in the kickstarter and get yourself a limited, hand-numbered (and autographed) Blu(e)ray when it gets released. Don’t worry – the crowdfunder is not asking for hand-outs. You will get something amazing in return for your contribution.
The version that is on the ABSURD HORROR Bluray is the director’s preferred edit, but in order for it to comply with the censorship rules (yes, that is what the director calls them, although digital merchants don’t like that term. If the shoe fits, stick it up your ass).
This option is primarily for the fans outside of America who don’t have to pay a fortune for shipping (or who live in countries with a bad exchange rate).
Bill Zebub does not like to censor, but movies with much higher budgets have gone through the same ordeal, even as far back as when VHS was the modern format. Not every region is free of superstitious and ignorant people.
In a way, everyone wins. Physical media (DVD and Bluray) is becoming the ONLY way to see the director’s cut, so the web people are actually helping the sales of the physical products.
If you are a fan of PROFESSOR DUMDUM, you might enjoy his character in this kooky parody.
Please note that digital merchants impose censorship, so this movie has had some footage removed. Some of the social and intellectual victories in the art world have been overturned, but instead of impotently crying over this, let us look at the ignorance of this era as a great reason to support physical versions (DVD and Blu(e)ray) because these are the only forms that allow you to see movies in their uncut versions.
Please spread the word in your own social circles. Every little bit helps keep the flame alive.