Category Archives: Movie

HOLOCAUST CANNINAL new cut on Bluray

Click to participate in the crowdfunder for the special edition of HOLOCAUST CANNIBAL.

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Holocaust Cannibal
Holocaust Cannibal

The Abandoned

This movie starts out with an overly long scene of a woman driving a huge truck through a forest. It is unknown if she is fleeing, but she seems to be injured. There are two annoying babies crying the whole time, and as I lose my attention on the driving, I notice that this is one of those movies that desaturates the color, which makes me predict that I am going to endure a bad movie that will only be finished because I have to review it.

The woman arrives at a remote peasant house and dies.

The movie then jumps to a lady with resting-bitchface in some Russian office, for a reason that I forgot because I couldn’t stop wondering why such an ugly woman was chosen for the role. Was she there because she inherited something? I have no idea, but I had a quickly vanishing intention to finish the movie, and I assumed that at some point I would figure it out.

Resting-bitchface hired someone to drive her to a remote location in Russia. I don’t know what the hell the ride was about because I was again drawn to the desaturation. I mean, why not film in black and white if you hate color so much?

The woman has to exit the truck and walk, even though there is still a road. I know that I heard the words but I can’t recall them because this was just the start of extremely bad dialogue and I am currently trying to purge it from my brain, but during that early scene, part of me wondered if this was not truly stupid and part of a drugged sequence or something like that.

The woman enters a house that seems to have been abandoned a long time ago, a house in the middle of nowhere yet it has electricity.

The shots in which there is no electric light has a green tinge which made me wonder why a moviemaker wanted to totally copy the green tinge of a well known horror movie. Even if this is a coincidence, why do it? I often wonder if moviemakers worry about being flagged as corny a decade from now. “Remember when horror movies took out the color almost to the point of grayscale but in some scenes made on dominant stupid color, like green? Or blue. How many times will we see a snowfield that is blue? These are the thoughts going through my mind as I watched a movie that went nowhere.

I had to remind myself that I was assigned this movie for a review, not for my personal entertainment.

The woman runs out of the house for a reason I totally forgot because I was taken out of the movie almost the entire time, asking things like “Is anything going to happen or did the moviemaker think he was astounding the viewers with atmosphere?

Bam! The woman awakens inside the house, and a man is there who gives no indication that he is aggressive. He didn’t do anything to her when she was unconscious, and she is not restrained, so why does she bash him in the face with a stick?

They guy has a Russian accent but he speaks American slang, which is something I cannot stand in movies. Don’t Americanize foreigners. And why was he speaking English to her? The woman was born in Russia. That much I remember.

Anyway, the guy is the woman’s brother, her twin. I guess the two babies in the beginning of the movie are these two. I was about to wonder why they separated, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to justify the time I had wasted. I wasn’t going to sleuth anything. By that point, I had realized that the writing was bad and it didn’t matter what the mystery was, that is, if there was one. Maybe the only mystery was how this movie got funded.

Did I tell you that the movie was bad? Well, the guy is an information-giver. I don’t know why the woman never asked “How do you know that?
“Those two people who look like us, except with white contact lenses… they are our doppelgangers.” Ok, I have to pause here. The guy acted as if he didn’t know what the things were, but he shot the one who looked like him, and he received the bullet wound. He then told his sister that whatever happens to the doppelgangers happens to them. Another bit of comedy is that the woman asks this imbecile who has a bullet wound to protect her, which would be stupid even if he wasn’t shot, because she knocked him out with a stick earlier.

When the pair decide on a part of the house to hang out, the guy pours liquor into his wound and then digs out the bullet with a knife. I don’t know if the moviemaker thought this would be a good gore scene, but it was stupid, so much so that it made me laugh.

After that, it was just one gimmick after another, like shaking the camera for no reason. It was imitation done very badly, and repetitively. Like, after the information-giver brother said that something was going to happen at midnight, there was banging, and objects flying. Nails withdrew from the boards that were blocking the door, and then reverse-motion was used to make broken glass become intact again. Wow! I am astounded. But this was all for absolutely no pay off. Nothing happened.

There was an entertaining movie based on a real life woman who wanted to be an opera singer but was tone deaf, but she had the wealth to make her dream come true. I wonder if this movie was made the same way. A person with absolutely no talent has the money to make his dream come true. If I had been told that before I started watching, I might have been entertained. Instead, I saw a movie that started out mediocre, but became increasingly stupid, to the point when I laughed, especially when I saw the ending.

I saw a cartoon in a Dungeons & Dragons magazine in which orcs were up to no good. One of them said to the others “We disguises ourselfs as paladins and…” and it reminds me of the people who made this movie. Low class people trying to pass themselves off as high class. That’s how it looks.

I wanted to delve into the behind-the-scenes that are on the disc, but the director spoke Spanish. I hated reading subtitles to a featurette of a movie I hated, and when one of the cast said that the director speaks perfect English, I ejected the disc and threw it into a wall.

If you want to feel like someone has played a joke on you, then by all means, watch this. It’s the most inauthentic movie I have seen in a long time.


I inserted the Bu(e)ray disc without reading anything from the press sheet or from the synopsis. I usually try to watch movies and listen to albums without knowing a thing. This way, I am not primed to interpret anything from prior knowledge.

As such, I did not know that the director was Go Nagai, but more on him later, and yes, my attitude toward him is favorable.

The movie IMMEDIATELY starts out with nudity, which earns my respect because we live in an era of censorship, superstition, and facade (pretending that boobs are frighteningly repulsive, and that any natural behavior, like enjoying the curves of a woman, is a rare and pathological behavior).

I wasn’t oriented yet, so I didn’t know if this was some sort of abduction movie, a thriller, or anything else, but I loved the womanly figure of the character who stood out prominently in the shot.

Not only did I want to see more of her and learn everything about her, I wanted to marry her, but that might be my personal reaction and may not be shared by you.

I must interrupt this review by mentioning my relief that “Lion-Girl” was not a bisexual character. A lion is a male, as you may or may not know. I have actually met Americans who did not know that a bull is the male and that a cow is female, and they are both of the same species. Some Americans actually argued that I was wrong. Perhaps that is why I need to make this point. I didn’t yet know that Mr. Nagai was the director. Part of me worried that this movie, being made in recent times, might be about being a transsexual or whatever and spout political nonsense rather than provide an enjoyable story.

Let us return to the shapely actress, Tori Griffith. I don’t know if I should mention this again, but I love her, and this feeling will not abate, although “abate” is part of the word “masturbate” or should I say “masturabate” which seems like a good idea right now, so excuse me for a bit and enjoy the picture that I provide. Tori Griffith is the quintessence of womanhood.

Ok, I am back.

Wait, I have to be excused again….

Ok. I am back.

As I mentioned, I love Tori Griffith.

Now where was I? It’s hard to concentrate.

Wait, I will be right back. I have to do something in the next room.

I think I am dehydrated.

Back to the viewing experience… I was smiling a lot because the movie gave me the feeling of a parody, the same way that THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVERA spoofed science fiction from the 1950’s, except with high quality nudity. Oh, this isn’t science fiction, or is it? I considered it to be a mix of science fiction, dystopian thriller, boobs, my marriage to Tori Griffith, and martial arts, with deliciously ridiculous costumes. It gave me a sense of fun, as well as a longing to marry Tori Griffith.

I felt an energy of creativity in every scene. It seemed like a lot of love went into making this. I don’t know if that is true, but what I do know is that I love Tori Griffith.

Another surprise was seeing Derek Mears in this, and this made things more fun, especially seeing him as a villain even though he played Jason in Friday the 13th. I have met him several times at horror conventions and could say ten million nice things about him, but for this review I should just make a note of one encounter. During a horror convention, a fan of mine saw Derek checking in to the hotel, and she became nervous. I told her that Derek is a down-to-earth person and I led her to him. After I introduced her and told Derek that she is a little scared, he assured her that they are both fans of movies and put himself and her at exactly the same social status. That man deserves every possible success.

Getting back to my love of Tori Griffith, it’s not just her exquisite physique. Yes, I was spellbound by that at first, but then her personality, or the personality of her character, affected me in other ways. Her eyes held intelligence, and when she spoke, I could sense the great person behind that voice. I don’t actually dare ever meeting her because I think it would be embarrassing for me to cry in public, and also, I have too much of a crush. I state this as a warning to you because you might fall under her spell if you watch this movie. It is a heavy stone to carry.

Perhaps I should vow to cease the adoration after this comment; In an objective a manner as I can muster, I simply state that Tori Griffith is astounding. I have not been this impressed in a long time. I wish her great success, and I will buy any movie that she is in, and I say this as a healthy person, not as a stalker. I feel adoration and appreciation, not obsession. Also, I want to marry her.

When the movie ended, I immediately selected the bonus features, and I discovered who the director was, and I found out that this was a movie made to depict a Japanese comic. It wasn’t meant as a parody. Perhaps you already know of the artist and of the character, but I, being an outsider, enjoy this as a spoof. Also, I want to marry Tori Griffith.

One of the heroic things that Go Nagai did was that he said no to a two million dollar budget because he would have been required to do away with the nudity and gore. He chose to make it a lower budget movie and stayed true to his vision. It’s not just the budget that suffered due to his decision to show nudity. It’s also going to affect distribution, although he might not be penalized as much as other directors (me) because he can justify his visual ideas better than average directors.

I was fully engaged while watching the way the movie was shot and the extra details provided about the obstacles, like the cold temperature that the scantily-clad women had to endure. Well, making movies isn’t usually comfortable, ha ha. Seeing the enthusiasm of the cast was inspirational. Also, I guessed correctly about Tori’s personality. Seeing the behind-the-scenes footage made me respect her even more, but I believed that she would be that way. It was nice to see that my impressions were spot-on. (I can also guess that she will not marry me, but that doesn’t diminish my admiration).

I strongly recommend this movie, and even if you are blind, you should buy this because Go Nagai is one of the last directors who has bigger budgets but he still is loyal to the indie spirit. He is one of our champions.

He truly fights for the kind of footage you want to see.

Artists are like teeth; ignore them and they will go away…

Jailhouse Wardress

There is another version of the cover art that has a swastika in the upper right corner. I find it silly that such censorship exists, especially because this is a nazisploition movie. Imagine if there was something called KKKsploitation, and how it would not be allowed for the villains to wear their robes.

I wanted to buy an Ilsa shirt but I didn’t want the hassle of wearing art that had a swastika because I get into enough ridiculous situations wearing other kinds of shirts. Well, I do regret not buying a shirt because I could wear it at horror conventions. People would either understand, or they could be told about the Ilsa movies.

Not having a swastika in a nazisploitation movie is like making a rape/revenge movie without any rape scenes.

I suppose this censorship occurred before all of the hatred of Israel became mainstream after the attack by Hammas. If you have sex with a terrorist, then you are a hammas-sexual.

Nazisploitation movies do not glorify the Nazis. The simple formula in many such movies is a lot of sexual torture and degradation, and then the tables are turned and the movies end in comeuppance.

Getting back to the mainstream hatred of Jews, I am in shock that such a thing is happening. The stories of concentration camps were told so that the world doesn’t forget, presumably so that it could never happen again, but something changed in current society that seemingly rewards condemnation of a minority. But I should not be surprised. You see, I laugh when I hear “You should know history because if you don’t, it will repeat.” (Or any variation of that cliche). That’s like a Hallmark card. The words seem nice until you think about them. Human history always repeats. It will stop repeating only if we change as lifeforms. No matter what kind of facade we don, we are all the same and will repeat bad behavior of the past.

Let me write this review as if the recent events had not happened. I would have led with a brief description of what nazisploitation is in case a reader might not know that there is such a subcategory of movies.

The rape and sexual torture aspect of nazisploitation seems tame compared to what was done to people in Israel. If you heard the stories, then you will think that what happens in nazisploitation is tame by comparison. A part of me wonders if those recent events could become a new subcategory of movie. There is footage of those acts, so maybe…

I am referring to the brutal rapes and sexual torture against people in Israel that for some reason isn’t causing any alarm. What happened to the assholes in the “pound me too” movement? (#metoo).

Getting back to the movie; it strays a bit from the basic formula. We still see sex, but the plot is very different from the usual fare. I don’t like to spoil surprises. The story should unfold as you watch a movie. My job is to reveal other things.

I had not heard of this title before, so it was a nice surprise.

The situation of the women is not like in the more harsh offerings in this category of film, but I am in love with a few of the characters. One woman has perfect breasts, so perfect that I doubted my eyes. No, they are not implants. I despise implants, both in movies and in real life. The breasts of the actress are so astounding that I almost want to see if she is still alive and then beg her to marry me, even if she is elderly, and even if she is married already. In fact, you should get this movie just to see her breasts. If I saw a hint of them before purchasing the movie, and the price was $100, I would pay it.

The production value is not as slick as other such films, but this adds a certain charm. The aforementioned breasts were so awe-inspiring that I wouldn’t doubt that most of the budget was given to the actress out of reverence. Of course, I am joking, but the movie could have been ninety minutes of her standing topless on a garbage can in a parking lot, and I would have considered the movie to be a masterpiece.

Nazisploitation is exploitation. No, that is not a bad word. Exploitation movies show women as you would want to see them, well, in fantasy. Your daydreams probably don’t involve seeing an attractive woman and asking her to explain bookkeeping to you.

Perhaps exploitation is frowned upon, but usually only if the whiner has an audience, or if the person complaining is repressed and therefore suffering a pathological condition. It is he who is sick, not you. How could anyone not want to see breasts or shapely legs, or me in a bathing suit?

The higher forms of cinema tend to repeat cliche and to exalt humans to a status they do not deserve. Exploitation films are fun and bear no pretense. I love high-brow cinema and cannot get enough of the Czech surrealists, but I also love exploitation, and nazisploitation is often kinky. it’s like going to a carnival instead of going to a ballet. Two different pleasures, each stimulating something.

If you are an aficionado of nazisploitation, then you will undoubtedly consider “Jailhouse Wardress” to be mild and perhaps straying too far from the rules of purists, but there is no way that you will leave unsatisfied.

If you are not acquainted with the genre, you might not like the style of certain scenes because you might have been trained to expect different kind of camera work and faster pacing, and you might be shocked by seeing pubic hair.

Take a chance. See how a movie was made during a period with different mores and how they affected the boundaries and sensibilities of movies.

Think of the rapes of women in Israel and Ukraine and consider yourself fortunate that such conditions have not reached your lands, yet…

I am angry about the censorship of movies and I question the outrage that people feel about rapes in works of fiction. Where the fuck is the outrage of the rapes that are happening in real life? Yeah, go fuckin get a movie pulled from a store. A movie. You’re mad about a movie.

This review was brought to you by an intoxicated man who was eventually calmed by the perfect breasts that are in Jailhouse Wardress.

Deadgirl – Tenth Anniversary Edition

I saw this movie on DVD when it first came out and was impressed for many reasons, one of which was the originality.

This Bluray edition is released by Unearthed Films. There is another movie with the same title, so look for the one that was made by Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel. The Unearthed Fims Bluray is the unrated director’s cut.

If you were a teen male in America, you might have been asked a question that might still be going around these days, “If you were on a beach and a girl who drowned suddenly washed up on shore and her body was still warm, would you fuck her if there was no one around?”

This movie answers that question.

Of course, when I heard this question as a virgin 13-year-old, I didn’t know that a freshly-drowned person could be revived, or perhaps I was so struck with the image of a hot bikini-clad woman that I could only think of finally seeing boobs in real life (especially since the question primed me to consider sex). I think the question should be re-phrased as “Would you feel up her boobs while giving CPR?” but I don’t think this is actually a serious question. I don’t think it would ever be presented in an ethics class.

The story is a rather demented coming-of-age story in which a couple of young males discover a fresh-looking naked female corpse that seems to have been bound and raped in an abandoned building, and covered in plastic after her murder.

One of the males reflexively wants to call the police, but the other male does not see any urgency. Why not indulge some virginal curiosity?

This is the beginning of the many conflicts of the story which masterfully weave into and separate from each other. It’s a master class in writing.

Visually, the movie-makers made bold decisions. The subject matter is taboo and reviled, but the tale is presented elegantly and bravely.

In my reviews, I try never to spoil story elements. Rather, I like to inform you about what is good (or bad), and for you to decide whether or not to buy (or steal, if you are a scumbag), the movie. (If you love a movie or an album, you should purchase it. Keep killing creators and don’t be surprised if all that is left is mainstream garbage).

As shocking as this movie may seem to be to an average person, it is clever and multi-dimensional. If you are the kind of idiot who sees a nipple in a horror movie and instantly cries that it is porn, then this is not the flick for you. If you are not an idiot, then you will savor the story for its many astounding and poignant components. It’s visceral, but it is also sublime. You should treat yourself to this movie.

This edition is packed with extras. I can’t gush enough so let me end the review here.

BREAKING HER WILL gets a re-release

BREAKING HER WILL has been out of circulation for a while. Die-hard fans have begged for a re-release. It’s a cautionary tale. Do not lend your Bill Zebub movie. You might not get it back. Auction sites have sold this movie for over $200.


Bill Zebub wants to re-film this movie, which is one of the reasons why he never allowed the original version to be re-released.

The new Kickstarter campaign is a test. So far, fans have funded the DVD. The next goal is to make this a Blu(e)ray release. The ultimate goal is to fund a completely new movie. Fans get to decide the fate.

The DVD (or Blu(e)ray) will contain a re-edit. During this campaign, there is the option of obtaining a BD-R of the original cut. When Bill Zebub re-releases a movie, he re-edits it for two reasons. One, is that he wants fans who invested in the original movie to sell their units at collector prices (and people who purchased the movies from auction sites at large prices won’t have their investments deflated). The other reason is that most movies in the past had to meet strict deadlines. Editing had to take place within a short period. Some rash decisions had to be made. Also, Bill Zebub has more skills now, and he has different ideas.

There are plenty of other goodies in this Kickstarter, so make some coffee, tea, or urine, and have a thoughtful look. Carefully select the treats that will satisfy you the most. Also please spread the word about this. You might underestimate the effect that you have on other people.


Bill Zebub Limited-Edition Movies

ou may wonder why a sale has these movies for $65. That is because the post-crowdfunder price is $100. Some are limited to 50 units and some are limited to 100 units.

You can obtain these for your personal collection or you can invest in them for future resale. These movies are uncensored, hand-numbered, and autographed by Bill Zebub. Will they really increase in value? Well, normal editions that were not autographed and obviously not limited or hand-numbered have sold for $700 after a few years of going out of circulation, and some of those titles replicated over 8,000 DVDs, so they were not exactly rare.

There are a few uncensored units of Santa Claus: Serial Rapist, Dicknado, and Absurd Horror, so the pics were not listed (they will sell out).

Obviously, this is for the ultra fan (or an investor). Email for ordering information.

Rape is a Circle Re-Release

Fans have begged for a way to see the long out-of-circulation movie “Rape is a Circle.” Now is your chance to own a re-edit.

Visit and take a look at the delicious selections. If you are one of the people who only stream, you can still support the re-edit by pre-ordering the digital version. Of course, you can get the autographed DVD for less than ten billion dollars, which is quite a savings.

Please share the fuck out of this.

Stale Popcorn and Sticky Floors

Stale Popcorn and Sticky Floors is an entertaining documentary about early exploitation movies. A variety of actresses and movie-makers are interviewed, providing some insight into a past era.

Some shots from the movies are provided, with boobs, but it seems that they are taken from VHS masters. This is acceptable because this is a documentary, and also because there are uncensored boobs. Some documentaries censor the footage.

I have seen some of the movies, like Street Trash, so I enjoyed learning about the process of filming and later distribution. Every movie that I did not see is going to be purchased because of how interesting the documentary makes them. I really mean that. I am buying every single title that I have not yet seen.

I was fortunate to have seen a couple of documentaries about 42nd Street and how important the theaters were for this class of film. While some movies, like Re-animator, were more widely released, it’s still interesting how that tiny section of New York City cultivated the indie film community. I was too young to have been part of it. This documentary only references that part of cinema history. You will have to see something dedicated to that subject.

The style of this documentary is cordial and down-to-earth. You get to see people talk about myriad topics in an off-the-cuff manner, and their words are given lots of breathing room. If this were a more polished documentary, the talks would be cut up and the pacing would be artificial.

I liked this so much that I am going to watch it again as soon as I finish typing this review.

La Petite Mort 2

I am surprised that there is a second movie, whether it is a sequel or not. The first one was disappointing in many ways. That story led three average people into an underground sex club that had zero sex and no nudity. That made me think that the moviemakers were shy. This guess was supported by the behind-the-scenes footage in which a camera guy kept trying to take shots of a girl’s legs, and she scolded him each time, even pulling down her conservative skirt here and there. Didn’t the camera guy know that movies can have nudity?

Seriously, if the environment of the movie is a criminal sex club, why is there no sex? The moviemakers should have stuck with a topic that they could handle, like how to wear baggy clothes and have stupid gore. Yes, even if the movie showed a tit, the gore was ridiculous. In one scene, a girl had her scalp cut at the hairline. The villain was to scalp her, which might have been interesting, but that knife miraculously cut the skull open, exposing the brain. Why don’t ignore people spend twenty minutes with a biologist, trauma doctor, or some other person who could inform them that one cannot open a skull with a knife?

Horror is considered an idiotic genre by some, and this is one of the reasons why. In Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a person was hoisted onto a meat hook and seemed to only react as if he were suspended by a belt, seeming to only exhibit mild discomfort. I won’t go into the various things that should have happened, because I shut the movie off at that point and didn’t watch it again until after twenty years or so, and I still considered it stupid. It was also idiotic when, in Nightmare on Elm Street, the villain was revealed to be the offspring of a nun and one hundred maniacs. Did the writer not know that it only takes one sperm to conceive? That is another movie that I shut off immediately after that kind of idiocy.

My expectation for this new movie was very low, especially with the introduction of a woman who wore a skirt that her grandmother would have considered conservative. If the girl is supposed to be a sex-worker, shouldn’t she dress in more tantalizing garb? Again, if a person is afraid of nudity or women, perhaps a different environment should be chosen. The only horror in the first movie was that of the moviemakers who were terrified of nipples. Oh wait, there are nipples in this one, but they are male. A fat man with short hair and corpsepaint delights in gay bondage, which made me keep my eyes off the screen, so I have no idea what happened. Probably some stupid gore.

Not a single attractive person or anyone with on-screen charisma appeared yet. It was just a series of over-acting dullards. But I held hope that there would be some pay-off.

After much gayness and silly dialogue, there was a female victim, but she wore more clothes than someone in a blizzard.
It seems that the person who made the movie thought that he could make a cheap version of Hostel, but I had given up on deriving any entertainment from the movie so I didn’t care about what was happening on screen anymore. I just wanted it to be over.

There was one woman who was nude, with of course only brief glimpses of her flat chest. I had spaced out by this point so I don’t know what happened, other than cheesy attempts at skinning a silicone prop. Again, just a little research would have resulted in scrapping the idea of peeling a person like a banana.

The movie was too gay for me. I found myself looking away from the screen a lot because I just don’t swing that way. I can’t cite a single thing that I liked, and believe me, I tried to find something to compliment. I have no idea what kind of person would like this. It seems to have been written by a social retard who created characters he thought were cool, but no one who actually IS cool would watch. Sadly, I cannot give you any reason to give this movie a chance. I only watched the whole thing because I had to write a review.