I inserted the Bu(e)ray disc without reading anything from the press sheet or from the synopsis. I usually try to watch movies and listen to albums without knowing a thing. This way, I am not primed to interpret anything from prior knowledge.

As such, I did not know that the director was Go Nagai, but more on him later, and yes, my attitude toward him is favorable.

The movie IMMEDIATELY starts out with nudity, which earns my respect because we live in an era of censorship, superstition, and facade (pretending that boobs are frighteningly repulsive, and that any natural behavior, like enjoying the curves of a woman, is a rare and pathological behavior).

I wasn’t oriented yet, so I didn’t know if this was some sort of abduction movie, a thriller, or anything else, but I loved the womanly figure of the character who stood out prominently in the shot.

Not only did I want to see more of her and learn everything about her, I wanted to marry her, but that might be my personal reaction and may not be shared by you.

I must interrupt this review by mentioning my relief that “Lion-Girl” was not a bisexual character. A lion is a male, as you may or may not know. I have actually met Americans who did not know that a bull is the male and that a cow is female, and they are both of the same species. Some Americans actually argued that I was wrong. Perhaps that is why I need to make this point. I didn’t yet know that Mr. Nagai was the director. Part of me worried that this movie, being made in recent times, might be about being a transsexual or whatever and spout political nonsense rather than provide an enjoyable story.

Let us return to the shapely actress, Tori Griffith. I don’t know if I should mention this again, but I love her, and this feeling will not abate, although “abate” is part of the word “masturbate” or should I say “masturabate” which seems like a good idea right now, so excuse me for a bit and enjoy the picture that I provide. Tori Griffith is the quintessence of womanhood.

Ok, I am back.

Wait, I have to be excused again….

Ok. I am back.

As I mentioned, I love Tori Griffith.

Now where was I? It’s hard to concentrate.

Wait, I will be right back. I have to do something in the next room.

I think I am dehydrated.

Back to the viewing experience… I was smiling a lot because the movie gave me the feeling of a parody, the same way that THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVERA spoofed science fiction from the 1950’s, except with high quality nudity. Oh, this isn’t science fiction, or is it? I considered it to be a mix of science fiction, dystopian thriller, boobs, my marriage to Tori Griffith, and martial arts, with deliciously ridiculous costumes. It gave me a sense of fun, as well as a longing to marry Tori Griffith.

I felt an energy of creativity in every scene. It seemed like a lot of love went into making this. I don’t know if that is true, but what I do know is that I love Tori Griffith.

Another surprise was seeing Derek Mears in this, and this made things more fun, especially seeing him as a villain even though he played Jason in Friday the 13th. I have met him several times at horror conventions and could say ten million nice things about him, but for this review I should just make a note of one encounter. During a horror convention, a fan of mine saw Derek checking in to the hotel, and she became nervous. I told her that Derek is a down-to-earth person and I led her to him. After I introduced her and told Derek that she is a little scared, he assured her that they are both fans of movies and put himself and her at exactly the same social status. That man deserves every possible success.

Getting back to my love of Tori Griffith, it’s not just her exquisite physique. Yes, I was spellbound by that at first, but then her personality, or the personality of her character, affected me in other ways. Her eyes held intelligence, and when she spoke, I could sense the great person behind that voice. I don’t actually dare ever meeting her because I think it would be embarrassing for me to cry in public, and also, I have too much of a crush. I state this as a warning to you because you might fall under her spell if you watch this movie. It is a heavy stone to carry.

Perhaps I should vow to cease the adoration after this comment; In an objective a manner as I can muster, I simply state that Tori Griffith is astounding. I have not been this impressed in a long time. I wish her great success, and I will buy any movie that she is in, and I say this as a healthy person, not as a stalker. I feel adoration and appreciation, not obsession. Also, I want to marry her.

When the movie ended, I immediately selected the bonus features, and I discovered who the director was, and I found out that this was a movie made to depict a Japanese comic. It wasn’t meant as a parody. Perhaps you already know of the artist and of the character, but I, being an outsider, enjoy this as a spoof. Also, I want to marry Tori Griffith.

One of the heroic things that Go Nagai did was that he said no to a two million dollar budget because he would have been required to do away with the nudity and gore. He chose to make it a lower budget movie and stayed true to his vision. It’s not just the budget that suffered due to his decision to show nudity. It’s also going to affect distribution, although he might not be penalized as much as other directors (me) because he can justify his visual ideas better than average directors.

I was fully engaged while watching the way the movie was shot and the extra details provided about the obstacles, like the cold temperature that the scantily-clad women had to endure. Well, making movies isn’t usually comfortable, ha ha. Seeing the enthusiasm of the cast was inspirational. Also, I guessed correctly about Tori’s personality. Seeing the behind-the-scenes footage made me respect her even more, but I believed that she would be that way. It was nice to see that my impressions were spot-on. (I can also guess that she will not marry me, but that doesn’t diminish my admiration).

I strongly recommend this movie, and even if you are blind, you should buy this because Go Nagai is one of the last directors who has bigger budgets but he still is loyal to the indie spirit. He is one of our champions.

He truly fights for the kind of footage you want to see.

Artists are like teeth; ignore them and they will go away…