Category Archives: Gay


This interview with Sharlee D’Angelo was conducted by Jennifer Ligierie for issue #17. Jennifer was introduced to me by her boyfriend at a show. He asked if she could be a Grimoire Girl. I told the two of them that the answer is yes, but she still has to submit the usual way (sending a roll of film that I develop. In the print-version days of the Grimoire, the high end digital cameras were not even 5 megapixels, but even if they were a million, I insisted on a roll of film that I developed, to reduce any chance of fakery. For example, a mad guy could send in pics of his ex-girlfriend. That would backfire, of course, because at least 40,000 people would see an attractive girl scantily clad and worship her. I also had to make sure that she was metal).
Jennifer called a lot, and we hung out, but there were no pictures sent. One night, she broke the friendship barrier and kissed me, and we fooled around for some time. I just kept it at the making out level because she had a boyfriend.
Due to my having made out with her, I considered it a conflict of interests to award her the Grimoire Girl status. Instead, I had her interview bands.
I had her and Sharlee take some joke pictures, and in one, they were each eating a waffle that connected their faces. That idea came from seeing a commercial for a Disney movie in which two dogs eat spaghetti, and they accidentally slurp the same noodle, which brought their faces together for a kiss. Jen and Sharlee chomped the waffle that joined their faces, and suddenly Jen and Sharlee kissed. Well, I guess I knew what her boyfriend would feel like when she told him about her and me, ha ha. Sharlee was blameless. After the initial contact, he opened his eyes in shock. He was not to blame.
Jen and I became an item after she informed her boyfriend of my immense sexiness. OK, maybe that is not what she told him. But the fling didn’t last. That is why she finally became the Grimoire Girl. When she submitted her pictures, it was no longer a conflict of interest. We stayed friends until her death. She was in a few of my movies, including Assmonster, Dirtbags, The Crucifier, and The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made/Horror Odyssey.

(Muffy Stuffoleese/Jen) Are you straight?
(Sharlee) Ah… sometimes my nose is a little crooked, but the rest of me is pretty straight, yes.

The world wants to know if the breasts of the girl who poses as a nun in your ads are real.
Yeah, they’re real… I mean, they exist.

Are they silicon?
They think, therefore they

How have Americans reacted to your penis? Were women shocked by your foreskin? And how big is it?
Well, the foreskin itself is pretty huge. I mean, sometimes you get
filled by a mass of flesh. It’s a bit frightening at points… especially the foreskin… they just don’t know how to deal with it. They haven’t seen it before. It’s just like, “Why is this guy wearing a polo shirt?” That’s what they say. But other than that,it’s been OK.

Do you warn women beforehand?
No. I want it to be a surprise. If they really love me, they can deal with it. (There is a momentary pause in which Jen looks him over, her expression unreadable)

Can I see your penis? Bill never lets me see his, and I’m really curious what an uncircumcised penis looks like.
Well, the thing is, you do not want to see Bill’s.

I heard it’s pretty small.
It’s pretty obvious it’s very small. It might not be as small as you
think, but it’s not huge or anything. Well,you can see my penis, but not now.

Do you have gel in your hair?
No, I do not. Unlike Mr. Zebub, I wash my hair sometimes, and it’s not as nice and frizzy as his hair is. Doesn’t it hurt when he deep-fries his hair?

Is Witchery the #1 priority for Necropolis Records?
Negro Police? Yeah, because they don’t have any other band on Negro Police Records, or Castro Police Records as it’s known by now.

It would be pretty gay to imitate the vocals of a person who’s a flaming homosexual, wouldn’t it?
Uh… it could be, but it could also be, like, a lot of fun to do that, as happens with some bands.

Why does your singer sound like Udo sometimes? The guy is a fag and a half.
Well, the thing is, our singer never wore camouflage clothing. He painted his face black and white, so it’s not camouflage colors. But
that’s really what he wants… the camouflage colors.

Do traditional black metal bands get mad at the feminine way that Witchery wears corpsepaint?
Traditional black metal bands are very feminine, in my opinion at least. They’re from Norway. Norway is a feminine country. Just listen to the melody of the language( Sharlee sounds like Dizzy Galespi’s trumpet to illustrate the gayness of the Norwegian language). That’s so gay. No, but seriously… we never heard anything like that. We are welcoming anything that they have to say.

Are you embarrassed about the musical mistakes on the EP of cover songs? A gay magazine suggested that you were.
No I am not! We’re all perfect. Everybody should know that.
Witchery is completely perfect. There are no flaws anywhere.

But apparently there was an interview in a magazine, the editor of who looks like a gay tennis player, wherein Jensen apologized for musical errors.
Which he should not have done. He must’ve been out of his mind or something. To apologize to someone who looks like that… (Sharlee makes a pfft sound in disgust)… I mean, would you do that?

Will Witchery be doing a track on the King Diamond tribute coming out on Necropolis?
We might do that, actually, although we won’t be doing it as Witchery. We are calling ourselves The Flaming Andy LaCocks. I don’t know what song we’ll do, but we’ll see. If we find something with pink in the title. We just might do it, just as a salute to our record company boss.

(Jen laughs ) Bill fell off his chair. (Jen composes herself) How was your tour with Dismember?
It couldn’t be better. It was, like, four other fat guys from Stockholm.

Do you think that your lyrics and song titles are gay and cheesy?
No. See, it’s not cheesy. I mean, they’re, like, gay and dark… completely like down in the dungeon, if you know what dungeon I’m talking about.

Maybe. Do you perform hip movements on stage?
Absolutely. All the time. I’m a little preoccupied with playing, so sometimes I just miss doing it. If I do it, I do it right. But otherwise, always.

Any funny stories from this particular tour?
Yeah, we played at Birch Hill, and I met this guy who was wearing these god-awful shoes. It’s like, he thinks it’s hip. His hair is deep fried. He probably went down to the Village and
bought this really cool bracelet that’s, like,orange.

How old do you think he is? Like 52?
He’s probably around 38. But he
tries to be 23. The thing is, his sideburns… the handles… what can you do with that?

I don’t want to know. Did Grimoire Girl #9 pay a surprise visit to your hotel?
Not my hotel. Who’s #9?

Yes! She did! She scared the shit out of me. I was sitting down with my guitar player, just on the bed talking, and he mentioned Felicia called about 15 minutes ago. He says, “Speak of the devil.” I turned around and there she is, standing there all dark-looking and lovely.

Do you think she’s gorgeous?
Oh yes.

(Bill Zebub) Do you think Jen is gorgeous?

(Bill Zebub) Jen, show him your tits.
(Jen launches a furious
attack) You fuckin’ prick!!!
Get a hold of yourself, Bill! You don’t say things like that! She’s a

(Jen, after she beats the shit out of Bill Zebub and makes everyone in the dressing room laugh) Are you in any other bands, or have you stopped trying to be everyone’s bass player?
(Sharlee answers while Bill keeps repeating “That didn’t hurt”) I’ve stopped that for now. I think I’ve had just about enough of bands that suck for a while. No, really, I’m basically concentrating on three bands at the moment, which is still a little bit too much.

(Jen asks while two security guards come into the room to see what all the noise was about, and they ask why the guy with the frizzy hair is holding a bloody tissue to his nose) Bass wasn’t your chosen instrument, was it? I heard that you originally played it because no one wanted to learn bass in Sweden.
Bass is obviously a loser instrument, and everybody wants to be a guitar player. Those who are left behind have to play bass. Since I couldn’t play fast enough on the lead guitar back when Yngay Malmstein was a god, I just had to settle for bass. I enjoyed it in a way, and then I had to tell myself that bass is the only instrument for a real man. So basically I am a loser and here I

(Bill Zebub) When you talk to people for the first time, what country do they think you are from, you damn Polak?
They think Switzerland, or they say Sweden, the land of clocks
and cheese.

You’re definitely straight?
As I’ve said before, some parts of my body might be slightly crooked. Otherwise, I’m

Boogers of the Antichrist

Anal CUnt

This interview with Seth Putnam appeared in issue #8

Dost thou find it pretty gay that have not received thy CD yet?
Yeah. I’m pretty upset about it. I’ll scream at Earache today. Next week I’ll be there. I gotta give ‘em this new CD of love songs that’s coming out in, like June. There’s 6 songs with acoustic guitars. Actually, it’s 5 love songs and I politically-correct environmental song.

I heard that the name of the new album was supposed to be called “You are Gay” and that the front of the album was supposed to contain a mirror.
Yeah. That’s one of the things that we were considering doing. But I figured that Earache’s too stingy to spring for a mirrored cover. So that’s why we didn’t do it. With an album like “You’re Gay” – whoever buys it – that’s their face on the cover.

Didst thou know that the word “gullible” is not in the dictionary?

I didn’t know that.

Hast thou ever seen visions in a person’s anal vapors?
No. Not really.

Oh, it is that type of interview, is it?
I don’t give a fuck, dude.

I shall have to give Blood Duster a call. In any case, I heard that thou called Chris Barnes “gay,” and then punched him in the face, and then his roadies beat thee up.
The non-exaggerated true story is, they were playing, and me and my guitarist were heckling them the whole show. And then after he got off stage I said, “Ha ha. You got kicked out of Cannibal Corpse” and he, like, walked over and tried to grab me. It was like being grabbed by a 3-year-old. I was like, “What? You want to fight me or something?” He’s like, “Yeah.” “Anyway, let’s go outside.” My back was turned in front of him as we were walking toward the door so I can beat him up outside. Then I got jumped by like 5 of the roadies and band members. And then I got thrown out of the club by the bouncers.

Not everyone who aspires be an asshole succeeds.
Even before A.C. started, I was a pretty well-known asshole around here, especially tormenting bands when they were playing, and getting into fights with Possessed when they came, and wearing John Travolta suits when Wargasm played and break dance during the whole show and stuff like that. They’d be totally mad and wouldn’t want to finish playing. I just made it more of an international level kind of thing, being a dick to everyone across the planet.

There is a problem between thee and the English band “Solstice.”
I’ve never actually heard them or heard of them until you brought it up. I know it’s some stupid thing the old publicist at Earache was trying to get.. something gay like… he’s a publicist at Relapse now. I don’t know the exact details. But he was making up this stupid metal thing. I don’t even know what the fuck he was talking about. It’s some “publicist” thing. So what are you saying, Solstice is all mad at me or something like that? It’s not like I care, but what did that publicist say to them?

They are mad because thou stole the idea for a Manowar cover.
Yeah, ‘cause THEY’RE the first persons that probably ever thought of doing that because they’re totally unique and original and all that stuff. So I’m sure they’re the first people ever to think of doing a Manowar cover. Yeah. I was, like, spying outside their house. I had, like, a van with all their house tapped.

Dost thou think that it is gay to think that?
Yes. Exactly. I never heard them. But I know that they’re gay anyway with a name as stupid as that. Do they spell it like “S-o-u-l” or something like that?

No. They spell it with a silent”G-a-y.”
(laughs) Yeah, that’s what I thought.

But supposedly they will pay to fly thee over to England just to destroy thee. How much gayness is in thy anus?
A plethora.

Let us turn our attention to dick-heads. I did notice that thou dost enjoy use of the word “gay.”
I don’t know if it’s like that where you are from, but around here it’s the typical Massachusetts common word,” calling everything “gay.”

So are there are a lot of gay people in Massachusetts?
Not really. No. But calling everything gay is very common around here.

By that reasoning, there are a lot of gay people in Massachusetts.
There’s a gay section. It’s on the gay part of the map, with flowers.

But if everything is called gay, by that reasoning, everyone where you live is gay.

Will there ever be a song called, “I am Gay?
Maybe if I ever become gay, yeah. If I get a job as an interior decorator or something like that. We’re already working on our “I’m Old” album to put out when we’re, like, 70 or something like that because by then we probably wouldn’t be able to do this stuff anymore. So if we record it now and put it out then as a “comeback” album…

Hast thou ever been dicked over Finberg?
remember he was kissing my ass one time. We played Allentown in, like, ‘94 and he’s like “I want to be your booking agent really bad.” He’s giving me the whole sales pitch. And then when he saw us wrecking the place and hitting people, he wasn’t too much interested anymore.

I thought it was because thou referred to him as “Mr. Whipple’s grandson.”
No… He is, though, isn’t be?

Didst thou ever see him squeeze Charman?
I’ve heard a lot of funny stuff about him. He got mad at someone who was calling him a “fat Jew” or something like that. I think Tom Pasquale said something like that.

Is Tom a fat Jew as well?
He’s, like, a big fat Jew.

Just to complete thy sentiments of Finberg and Pasquale, dost thou think that their enmity is just because they are from different tribes of Israel that are warring factions?
Yeah. I think that in the old times Finberg walked out of Pasquale’s grandfather’s bakery stealing some bagels. There’s been problems ever since.

You know how it goes with feuds and everything…

What is it about thee that makes gangs of people fight thee at one time?
I don’t know. I haven’t gotten in a fight with “one” person in like a million years. Every time I get into fights it’s with 6 people or so.

Dost thou think that it is gay to be Jewish?

l was afraid that though wouldst back down from that question. Dost thou not know that it is politically incorrect to say things like that?
It’s definitely pretty mustache-growing to be Jewish.

Dost thou also think that it is gay to be Middle-Eastern in any way?
Oh yeah. They all have mustaches, so…

The Geraldo mustache?
Yeah. That’s a definite sign of a gay person immediately. When you see a mustache you might as well have a pink triangle on your forehead.

Who dost thou think is gay in the underground and at the same time pretending not to be gay?
Chris Barnes, anyone who wears corpsepaint, and any band in the last 12 years.

Wilt thou have a 20-page insert booklet describing how to avoid gayness in the underground?
No. I’m too lazy, I’d rather just write stupid songs about it. I don’t even give a shit about the underground. So I won’t waste my time.

That is easy for thee to say now that thou art a rock star.
It’s not like, “Be friends with everyone in the underground. Please like us.” We were never like that. It wasn’t like we were trying to be underground. We just had no choice. The stuff that we’re doing – we can’t get signed to Capital Records.

What dost thou think of Diggy?
He’s never seemed to pay much attention to us. He’s been signing a lot of gay bands lately. His label’s just gone totally limp-wristed. He just has no idea what he’s doing anymore.

Didst thou ever write a song called, “Dig is Gay?”
We did some song about him before…

But he did not “dig” it?
(Fake laugher). Everyone knows it. If we had songs like, “Homos are Gay” everyone knows that. So why bother?

Thou liketh to challenge with the word “gay.”
Yeth. I like to make people aware of stuff that’s gay that they might not know is gay.

So each A.C. album is a path to enlightenment.
We’re just, like, messengers of enlightenment.

Dost thy pastor know that thou writeth the lyrics that thou dost?
No. He’s dead.

Didst thou attend the funeral?

Didst thou ever officially break away, or art thou officially a church-going boy?
I was, like, forced to go to Catholic school when I was younger.

Wert thou ever punished in a very unusual way by a man?
Well, a nun smashed my head against a blackboard. So I punched her in the face… when I was in 4th grade. And she was, like, horrified.

So thou wert a terrifying child?
Yes. I was way worse than I am now.

Was the battle with that nun thy last one-on-one fight?
Yeah. Pretty much. Actually, the group thing started in, like, 6th grade. I was chased by everyone in my class once. It was pretty fun.

Did it involve the word “gay”?

No. I punched one of the girls in the class in the face. The whole school was chasing me.

Thou dost not care if the person is male or female.
No. They complain about equal rights.

I have no more topics.

Oh yeah, how come you have that stupid disclaimer on your fuckin’ thing, like, that’s the only thing, like, that’s the only thing that I got bummed out about. You make fun of everything and then you have that gay (he war-
bles in mock wimpiness of me).

That was pretty gay of me, was it not?
That’s the only mustache tendency I found in the fanzine. I think you should stand behind everything. We don’t have disclaimers.

Hast thou ever been sued?
Yeah, I punched some girl in the face at one of our shows. I got thrown in jail and had to pay $1,200 in restitution.

Why didst thou punch her in the face?
It could have been anyone. I was just drunk. Someone pushed me and I turned around and swung, with a mike in my hand. It turned out to be this woman with a huge bump on her face.

Was it a fat pig?

Hast thou ever been with a fat girl?
Well, you know that I drink a lot, right?

Well there you go.

Didst thou throw some modern art into it thy CD to make people give clueless interpretations of thy intentions?
I have an art opening at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

Not too many people know that thou leadth a double life, that thou art actually quite respected in the artistic community.
Yeah, like, Andy Warhol personally gave me a beret once, and a cigarette holder, because he’s very respectful of my art.

And didst thou not accidentally burn the beret with a cigarette that is smoked exclusively in gay clubs?
(with a lisp) I wath thmoking a thigarette at dith bar, and thum philly wath lighting my thigarette, and it juth went up. And I got a bit of my hair and my nailth methed up. It’s just too avante garde for words. I can’t even explain it.

What is the relationship with thee and Relapse?
Um… well… What do you mean?

Thou knowst what I mean.
Um… How do I know them, or somethin?

I was just trying to railroad thee.
The only way I can badmouth them is by saying that just about every band on the label sucks. But, um, I get along with the guys at Relapse and stuff.

Even the Jewish guys?
Oh, there’s no Hebe’s at that label.

I heard that there are.
Really? Who?

Either Mat or Bill.
Really? I don’t like ‘em anymore!

Didst thou get along with them until just now?
Yeah. I mean, I used to like them ‘til now. Now that I found out that they’re fuckin’ Jews, forget it!

Well, I have run out of questions that thou could give one-word answers to.
I’m boring. You know? What can you expect?

Move over, I have to interview Cradle of Filth.
What will you be having, quiche, or something?

benighted cry about an interview

The gay fake-metal band BENIGHTED did something that no other band in history has done – they tried to get an interview removed.

Their publicist fraudulently filed a copyright claim, but this was done as a nuisance tactic to pull the interview. She has been notified that there is a video consent/release, and she is personally liable (the record label head said that this is HER action, not the record label’s) Her first name is KATY. Future record companies will know not to hire her due to her ignorance and juvenile tactics. Would you hire someone who embarrasses your record label?

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

“The lady doth protest too much” Do you know what that means? If you have nothing to hide, why would you react so dramatically?

A couple of days after the interview, the publicist Emailed this:

“I have spoken with the band and I must politely ask that you do not run the interview in any capacity. The band doesn’t feel that the interview will represent them well as they were confused and caught off guard by your questions and humor. Perhaps in the future, they will think differently about the interview, but right now we cannot let it run.

Thank you for understanding!


I thought that this was a joke so I ignored it. A day later, I received a youtube notification that someone had filed a copyright claim.

The interview will run, and it will also begin with the band giving consent. (This business part of the video is usually only for lawyers, but it will be shown on youtube with an explanation that Katy Twatburger from Season of Mist will try to have the footage removed, so this is proof of consent, and of Katy being a twat) But it’s not just that the band was given consent, they had an additional freedom. Whenever video interviews are made, the artists are told that if any question is not acceptable, then to just look into the camera and say “Do not use this.” The artists are also allowed to try to answer the question again in case they flub or they reveal things that they shouldn’t.

No band has ever invoked that, but BENIGHTED had the chance to do this. Why did BENIGHTED say things when they knew that they were being recorded?

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

News of this cowardly behavior was posted on social media sites. Even bands that have wanted to fight Bill Zebub came to his defense. As much as anyone has ever wanted to punch Bill Zebub, no one has ever asked that an interview be removed.

What could have been the reason for the band being afraid of the interview?

The label head said that BIll Zebub was drunk and asked nazi questions. Bill Zebub couldn’t believe that this was a serious reply. This response also seemed to be a joke. Is it really possible that in all of the interviews since 1993, there is a surprise that Bill Zebub conducts interview while drunk, or that he asks ridiculous questions? That has been the entire span of the Grimoire.

Bill Zebub re-watched the interview to discover if there were any nazi questions, and the only such question was a joke. Bill Zebub was ridiculing the vocalist’s baldness and asked if he were a nazi skinhead or if he was just bald.

To compare, Bill Zebub asked the drummer of VOIVOD “Are you a nazi?” but the whole band laughed. They knew that it was a ridiculous question. No one could possibly think this is a real question. It’s stupid.

Can it be that something is being hidden? Why have such a panic over a joke? Is there a past that isn’t on the surface?

In digging for more possible jokes that the singer and lisping drummer may have been afraid of, there was an actual serious question that was asked out of genuine curiosity. It had to do with opinions about moslem migrants. Could this be what the band was afraid of? The lisping drummer talked about his feelings on the matter, of how it is a problem not just for France but also for Europe, and after a few remarks he and the effeminate vocalist indicated that they like to talk about this privately. What more do they say in private life?

Still, the band could have said, “We don’t want to answer this question” and the next question would come.

The band was also asked if France had the same anti-semitism as Russia or Germany, but in the era of the second world war. But no matter what the question was, humorously spoken or seriously asked, there should be no such childish behavior like asking mommy to get the interview removed

Could this band handle a live interview? Would they try to ask a radio station to turn back time?

A remix of this interview, including the consent, is being prepared. Blogs, video channels, and torrent sites are currently awaiting the receipt of a re-edit of the video in which ONLY the silly questions are asked. It’s fine. The band is mediocre, as are the responses.

In addition, the printed form of the interview will be available after additional footage is encoded (to glean more answers). There was a girl who smelled the band to see if French have poor hygiene.

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

The world of metal has been attacked by outsiders, but now, bands like BENIGHTED are behaving in ways that are NOT metal. Well, they were not completely embraced by metal anyway. During the tour with ABORTED AND CRYPTOPSY, many patrons stayed in the bar having conversations instead of seeing the mediocre copycat band BENIGHTED play on the outdoor stage.

It is unmanly to ask a journalist to take down an interview. This interview was presented in dialogue form (you heard the question and you heard the answer). This means that it was impossible to take out of context, and all flubs were presented.

Why would the band talk for an HOUR if they didn’t want the interview spread? We shall see.

Do not support a band that behaves this way. Do not support censorship. Do not support bands and publicist who use nuisance tactics. Do not support males who have been feminized. Do not support fascists.

Action will be taken against the publicist for making bogus claims, but for now, let he behavior be known.

After a few posts about the behavior, the publicist wrote:

“You can keep posting and yelling but I will keep reporting, removing, and filing legal claims as I did with the original video in question.

In any case, thanks for bringing Benighted to the attention of so many. Your fruitless efforts to drag them on social media has only introduced many new fans to their music. The more you cry about the band, the more clicks we get. So thanks for doing that solid for us!”

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

The printed interview will be available soon. If you want the video footage for your blog, youtube, vimeo, or anything else, Email

Gayness of Benighted

Persefone – Aathma

The album began with odd time signatures, which compelled me, but the buildup seemed to fizz instead of resolving.  This was jarring, but not as much as when I heard the harbingers of faggotry.  The riffing took on the massively gay style of dance-friendly metal, so much so that I predicted that, if there were to be death metal vocals, the delivery would be fake, either as a mainstream person’s attempt at real brutality, or as a weakling’s inability to deliver.  Whatever the reason for the pseudo-death vocals, my dismay soon focused on the clean vocals that bordered on the gay realm of the poser.  I tried my best to give this a chance, but each additional moment took me farther away from metal.  This felt like a contrived and pretentious album specifically made for girls who rather dance than read, and for guys who like guys.  The final test came when I was going to see what the band members looked like.  I predicted, based on the songs, that the members would be distinctly non metal, and highly gay..  Isn’t it sad that this band is so predictable?