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Krabathor

This interview with Christopher appeared in issue #7

Jak velka je tva prdel? (How big is your ass.
As big as your ass.

Has thou ever thought of naming a song (In Czech, “I am being viewed by feces, and I am in excrement up to my neck”)?
I’m sorry. I can’t find a good name with that song. Hovno vidim – I see the shit, Jsem pod krk – I’m under neck… I don’t really know.

Art thou being a good Czech citizen by spitting in the face of everyone from Poland? And do not answer like a coward by licking the gay ass of Vader.
I must tell you that we haven’t any problems with any people from Poland. I only know good people from Poland, like Vader and Dead Infection.

Why do some labels in Slovakia hate thy band? And do not answer like a scared bitch.
I know which label you mean. I think we are friendly band. Maybe some bands from this label do shit about us and hate us. Maybe some competition war. I think that is stupid from them. But what can we do? I think some other people can do the dirty work, and we can have clean hands.

When thou performed at the Metalfest in Wisconsin, what idiotic things didst thou notice about Americans? And do not answer like a diplomatic pussy.
I can’t tell you so many bad things about Americans. We met really a lot of good friendly people. One big bad experience we had with some black people which want to purloin from one guy of us. But this was mistake for him because we haven’t anything.

The person who is wearing the “Stop the Madness” shirt is making a peculiar facial expression. Do people from Poland find him to be terrifying? And do not answer like a douche bag.
This guy is our drummer. I don’t know why you are still talking about the Poland people.

Has a Russian soldier ever raped a woman in thy family? And do not answer like an oppressed crybaby.
I don’t like Russian soldiers. But this problem with a woman in my family, I haven’t.

How can Krabathor be set apart from other straightforward death metal bands? And do not answer like a poseur.
I don’t know for sure what you mean. We never kick out any other bands from the death metal scene. Maybe you don’t trust me. But that is the truth. I know a lot of people who will tell you that bands must cooperate with each other, but sometimes it isn’t possible.

What does thou feel about the Slovakian label Metal Age? And don’t answer like a sniveling fag?
I think that they are doing half of their work well. But they are still a small label.

Which bands are total pussies? And don’t answer like an insecure dumb-ass.
I can’t tell you which bands I hate. But I little bit hate bands which changed their music and make shit about death metal bands.

Is it true that the only thing worse than someone from Poland is a Yugoslavian? And don’t answer like a terrified lab animal.
I think that in all countries you can find good things.

Which country is the most hated in Europe? And don’t answer like a raped hippie.
In the middle of Europe, it’s Russia.

Art thou at a disadvantage because thy sexual organs are external? And do not answer like a clueless shit-eater.
Oh man. I don’t know!

Which magazines have been assholes to thee? And don’t answer like a person pretending to be mature.
Maybe you will wait that I tell you that it is yours. Maybe your questions are harder to answer. But that is your way. I like all zines because they are doing with their work big help to the bands.

Any last words? And do not answer like a peace-loving socialist.
OK for the end. Thanks to you for possibility to do so hard interview!

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