I must preface this review by revealing that I did not pay for this. A friend lent me the show without telling me a single thing about it. I did not pay for it because THE GAME OF THRONES insulted fans in the later seasons. I could not believe that anyone would give any related show a chance. I certainly didn’t, until I saw it for free, and I feel stupid for wasting my time despite knowing that it was pointless to invest any attention to any material from this franchise of betrayal.
The Game of Thrones was entertaining for the first four seasons, but the shows started feeling like television-writing, with heavy use of exposition. One example is when the fat-ass brought the woman who cuckolded him to his father’s home. During dinner, the fat-ass and father talked about a sword on the wall. I knew that the sword would be stolen or otherwise appear in the next scene or two, and sadly, I was right. “Exposition” is when characters say things to each other that is meant for the viewer, not each other. Well, that’s one definition, but the show degraded so far that ALL forms of exposition were frequently used.
There were many stupid behaviors that are also silly television-writing, like in the final battle when defenders left the protection of the castle walls and engaged the enemy. I can go on, but the point is that the battle was ridiculous.
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON is much worse.
There is no nudity, even when characters enter a brother or some sort of medieval sex club. This tells me that the show was made for a particular audience rather than to tell a good story. It’s filtered for imbeciles.
Another whammy is that a group of people who are similar to albinos are played by Africans. I almost spit out my beer. Black people are playing albinos. Did the producers think that we would be fooled by the white-hair wigs? Seeing this makes it impossible to take the show seriously.
The race-swapping of characters is another indication that this is not a good story. The show exists to entertain a certain type of viewer, and I am not the target audience. When I watch loosely-based medieval fiction, I don’t want to see such a ridiculous straying from reality. Yes, it’s a fantasy tale, but it is a fantasy based on certain rules. I love the FRIDAY movies, but I don’t love race-swapping.
As I ranted about this in an online chat. I joked that casting directors in modern movies are actually human-resources managers who are adamant about afformative-action, and a member said something about Hollywood requiring something similar to human-resources. I think it has more to do with shows and movies requiring certain diversity and strong female roles, blah blah, or else the work will be ineligible for awards, but I don’t know if this is true. Whatever the explanation is, I am fearful of watching anything new because I don’t believe that modern shows or movies are focused on stories. It’s all propaganda and gimmicks.
Getting back to HOUSE OF GARBAGE, there is a wimpy man who is portrayed as a warrior. In typical television-writing, he can fight fifty men and barely get a scratch. Oh wait, he gets shot through the leg with an arrow, but he can still run toward his enemy after fighting ten million warriors who fight him only one at a time. Shouldn’t such silliness be left for afternoon television shows meant for teens?
That wimpy male is also pure evil, which is not something I want to see. It’s childish. Then again, the target audience of this show is not people who read or have social intelligence.
I could not finish the show. I wanted to quit after the first half hour, but I felt like I had lost so much money at a casino that I should play a little more with some hope of diminishing my loss, but each minute was like losing another hundred dollars. I ultimately had to stop. Even if George Martin personally appeared on screen and said, “Just kidding. Thanks for enduring this hell. For your trust, you get a hundred dollars, and now you can watch the REAL show. I hope you enjoy this prank.” I would not have continued.
I am deeply saddened that there will be a second season. I had seriously believed that the backlash to this show would be so venomous that the show would be canceled. I did not watch RINGS OF POWER or WHEEL OF TIME because I knew they would be garbage. Viewers rejected the bastardized shows, which sent a message to the creators. I held hope that more such backlash would force studios to respect the stories or to just abandon the projects if they couldn’t refrain from inserting propaganda and other nonsense. Humans have let me down.
When I was a teen, I started reading the fantasy books by Raymond E. Feist. There is a television deal for an adaptation, but I am not excited. I will not watch a single second unless I am assured that the show was made in the spirit of the books. I hold no hope.
Bill Zebub is offering three movies on a BD-R, with each disc hand-numbered and signed. It’s $35 in the USA, and all others add $20 for shipping. Email bill@billzebub.com to receive ordering instructions.
The movies are METALHEADS (from 2001), DOLLA MORTE, and FRANKENSTEIN THE RAPIST. These are early movies, so you should only get this disc if you are a big fan. The reason why these older titles are being offered on a disc is that fans have begged Bill Zebub to re-release these, but it is highly unlikely that these will ever appear on any factory-replicated disc again, being that they are only of value to the devoted fans who want to devour every piece of cinema in Bill Zebub’s history. The reason why there is no packaging is that there are fans who own the movies, some in mint condition, who should be able to sell theirs for $200 or more. Yes, when Bill Zebub’s movies go out of print, they drastically increase in value. Some have sold for $700 or more. No, these will not be available on any streaming platform.
Also, be warned that FRANKENSTEIN THE RAPIST is not actually a movie. Bill Zebub filmed test-footage to see what works and what doesn’t. It turned out that there was over an hour of finished scenes, so they were pieced together and were made available in a limited run of 1,000, with an honest synopsis that made it clear that this was not meant to be released. It DOES contain nudity because Bill Zebub really did want to see what worked, and his ideas of a Frankenstein movie had nude scenes. Some of that footage later was used in other movies because Sativa Verte and Nikki Sebastion were too amazing to be relegated to lost footage. You get to see more of those shots here.
Also, the 2001 version of METALHEADS was a practice movie that Bill Zebub shot so that when he was going to pitch his first-ever script to producers, they could see a demo movie so they could see some of the visual ideas. Bill Zebub paid the actresses even though this was just to be used as a visual example because he took the project seriously. Spending no money is equivalent to saying that you don’t respect what you are doing, and you don’t respect actresses. Speaking of actresses, Suzi Lorraine and Darian Caine participated in this. Again, Email bill@billzebub.com to order your copy.
When I received your album, I was immediately drawn into the strangeness. The first song, “Seitsemäs kerros” made me feel like I was in another world. I know it is an intro and not really a song, but it makes a promise to the listener that this is not a normal album. I do not agree with any of the categories that Harmaa Getto is supposed to be in, but such things are really for only for sales. Am I correct in thinking that there is nothing else like the styles inside the album?
We are inspired by many kinds of music and come from different musical backgrounds. Our way of making music also differs from each other and the kind of sample material we used can lead to the fact that there aren’t exactly similar records. For example, Ovenvartija differs significantly from the first Harmaa Getto album, where the mood was more humoristic, alcoholic, and threatening. Now the take is more melancholic. Lauri’s other projects are a lot like Harmaa Getto, and if you listen to the albums one after the other, you can recognize a clear continuum. Harmaa Getto is a different project from Paavoharju, but they have a lot in common.
The lyrics are in Finnish. I find this to be interesting, but I wonder what people in Finland think about your album.
We frankly don’t know! Ovenvartija got little attention when it appeared, and the critics ranged from praise to scathing. Many people have said that they liked the record, but compared to, for example, Joose Keskitalo’s solos, the visibility has been weaker. We ourselves do like the record very fucking much.
” Vanhat Mestarit” gives a hint of folk music, but only in one instrument. The percussion is of the electronic realm, and the other accompaniment is very far from what can be called folk. It’s a collection of things that do not often go together. What was in your mind when you combined these different elements?
We made the whole record practically far from each other and discussed the record mostly with Lauri. We sent Lauri a lot of different material and looked at which elements worked. At least intuitively, it was clear to me from the beginning that the album had to have a dumpy, raspy sound. That’s why the album has a lot of electronic sounds. For me, combining various unrelated elements has always been fascinating and sometimes I wondered if we could have gone even further in the experiment. Fortunately, Lauri always knows how to draw the line so that the sound doesn’t go completely overboard.
“Se et ole sinä” is the first sudden jump into the bizarre. There is a calming theme, but there is a variety of distortions of the otherwise gentle sounds. The percussion seems to be pushed almost to the point of clipping, but it comes across as intentional, to add contrast to the way the main melody sounds. The occasional electric guitar parts are at full power when they come in, and they provide a tasty psychodelic flavor to an already unusual piece of music. The keyboards are set to magical settings, making it savory to listen on headphones. Can you talk about how you created this magic?
The song was probably already quite ready when I was invited to join. I had known Lauri for years, but we had never made music together. One busy morning, Lauri sent me a demo of a song that was missing keyboards and bass. Lauri asked me to try something for music. I sent all kinds of vague tapes, of which Lauri arranged the best ones. After that, I was invited to join the band. At the last minute, I think Joose played violins for this too. I guess we’ve never talked more about the meaning of the song. It’s one of my favorites on the album, and just when I imagine I’ll catch Joose’s words, the sound goes away. I heard from Lauri just a moment ago that Joose wanted to remove the song from the album in the final stages! Fortunately, this was not done!
“Aleksander Galich” has a bit more varied structure than the previous songs. I was hypnotized by every single instrument. The song created an odd mental dimension as I listened on headphones. I had a sense of hearing something that was familiar, yet everything was far from the usual way that the instruments sound. It was a joy of madness. How did this exceptional blend come together?
In the same way as all the other tracks. Lauri built the foundation on which we started playing. Galich tells the story of a real-life Russian poet who died in Europe under unclear circumstances. Joose wrote the lyrics on his own. The song on the album is not so much a political statement in one direction or another, but expresses a feeling of paranoia where you can’t trust anything; neither people nor objects in the home. That’s why the song warns in the chorus about the radio, whose electric shock is said to have killed Galich.
“Marttyyri” put me into a trance. It started as something that would be tranquil if the instruments had other settings, but the special recipe you created made the music haunting, and parts of it were melancholic, which drowned me even more. The female vocals seemed like a visitation into a dream from a ghost. The song is scary and beautiful. Each time I hear it, I visit another realm of my imagination. You give the listener a key to an inner world. What was the inspiration for this song?
For this song, we asked the genius violinist Teemu Eerola to play whatever comes to mind. He sent us several tapes that we sampled, processed, and edited to fit the song. We also asked Anniina, who is super gifted vocalist of Paavoharju, to sing background vocals for the song, which fit the pompous and paranoid atmosphere perfectly. By the way, Anniina has the main role on our upcoming Paavoharju record. You can really hear her genius on that publication. It’s also worth checking out her solos under the name Anniina Auf and, for example, in the doom metal band Mansion.
“Tuomari nostaa maljan” conitinued to intoxicate me. It began with a sense of a story unfolding, especially with the tone of the vocals. It felt like a traveler telling of his lone and slow journey. The way it ended was unexpected, except of course that it was delightfully bizarre. Please share the meaning of this song.
The song continues the same theme that Joose has sung on his own albums. The song succinctly states how the law always finds ways to judge and punish. The judge raises a toast every time he has completed his task and handed down the law. The song has a mischievously true tone.
“Keskisormi” seemed like it gave me a chance to breathe in a relaxed way as I heard a bit of spoken-word, but the female part that came in was deranged even while it was calm, and I knew that I had not yet escaped the unpredictable and intense passages. I did not translate the lyrics, but perhaps you can let me know if the words have anything to do with an altered mental state.
The song tells about an accident that happened to Lauri. As the lyrics say, Lauri had a photo of his own middle finger with a piece missing, for art exhibition. After some confusing twists and turns, the narrator runs into a person at the counter of a bar who, like the photo, is missing a piece of his middle finger.
The flute in “Joki” reminded me of a couple of songs by the band Tusmorke. Is this just a coincidence?
“Ovenvartija” is a favorite song of listerners of my radio shows. One such listener, whom I call “King Adam” remarked that it sounds like the band had a lot of alcohol. I suppose that it might seem like the distorted way the world might seem in an advaned state of inebriation, but this song is not as demented as the others I have mentioned. Ovenvartija is the name of the album. What does this mean, and can you share some secrets about this song?
Joose knows best what the song means. According to my own interpretation, the song is an esoteric parody of warning songs related to various intoxicants. As such, the song does not take a stand for or against intoxicants. It’s worth listening carefully to what kind of clicks and words can be found in the background of the music.
I bought several versions of the CD, including the limited-to-200 copies. I noticed that Svart records is selling the album for a very low price. Please tell me that this is not a bad sign. I want you to make much more music.
The album has been on sale for a long time, but this has no effect on our operations. Harmaa Getto is not making music right now, and depending on Lauri, its composition may be completely different again on the next album. Now we are making a new Paavoharju record together, which will be released in the fall. We also made the Happiness album last year, which first started as the English-language Harmaa Getto album. However, the style fit better under the name Paavoharju. After Harmaa Getto, Joose has released several of his own solos and he also gigs hard. Also a moment ago, a beautiful live album from Paavoharju’s gigs was released. Something is constantly being worked on
It is still long (at over 2.5 hours) but shorter than the 7-hour version on Bluray (BLACK METAL: THE ULTIMATE DOCUMENTARY). Perhaps you can consider this as a try-before-you-buy, and when you DO purchase the Blu(e)ray, then you will get many more hours of new content.
I expected to hate this movie for a number of reasons, chiefly because I have seen bad movies that centered around underground metal, seemingly to cash in on a built-in audience. Such movies had boring content, except for an occasional breast on the screen. The stories were hollow and poorly written, like the lyrics of some of the bands.
Death metal is not simply one style. If this movie used death metal as a strong ingredient, my hesitation to watch was because the creators might have been outsiders, or they might have been trendfags.
Some bad lyrics are actually what make the songs much funnier, as in the case of BATHTUB SHITTER. The band is Japanese, with a grasp of the English language that is entertaining, especially with songs like “Shit and Re-shit” which were written as a novelty. I love that band.
Some death metal bands have bad lyrics because the members are uneducated. Grammar is embarrassingly flawed. It makes me think that the writers hate reading. Bands with such members play mediocre death metal and appeal to the same kind of stupidity level as people who love Pantera.
Contrast this with bands like IMMOLATION that chose a literary path. Their early anti-christian lyrics were not vulgar and crude. They often criticized christianity with its own teachings rather than ejaculating on the face of jesus.
There are bands who write so well that their lyrics are veritable poems. I know that I have strayed from the review a bit, but if “death metal” is in the title of the movie, I want to supply some background as well as my worry that I was going to waste my time, unless there were breasts in the movie.
In the beginning, I was worried that I was in for cheese and mediocrity. Some of the characters were outside of metal, like people who had those gay plugs in their earlobes, which is pure gayness and totally alien to real metal. Another negative point is the women who had short hair and looked like they belonged in the hardcore or goth scene rather than death metal.
This gripe is personal taste. Unfortunately, hardcore, punk, and other gay trendy scenes have infiltrated metal, and I suppose that the movie represented the scene as it is today. In the past, promoters booked hardcore bands with metal bands because they thought that they could double the audience, even if it meant that there would be violence. These scenes usually did not mix well. Perhaps it’s like borderlands between two populations that hate each other. The border people sometimes mix, and that is better than fighting each other.
Now onto the positive. The movie completely surprised me. After the initial revulsion, I found myself enjoying the experience.
This was shot well. It wasn’t a lazy effort.
If you loved NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, you might detect that same essence in some of the dialogue scenes, which in my opinion is a compliment.
As for the story, it centers around an overzealous priest who gains some extraordinary abilities after coming into contact with pollutants, which would be cheesy if the movie were serious, but this sort of transformation is more of a nod to movies like THE TOXIC AVENGER as well as the lyrical content of some songs. By the time this occurs in the movie, you will have already decided that you accept all of the stylistic decisions that were made in the writing. Prior to that, there really wasn’t anything absurd.
The mentally ill priest has a specific reason for hating death metal, which you will have to see for yourself. After his transformation into the kind of villain you see in slasher movies, his hatred leads to violence. This is the horror aspect of the movie, and I will refrain from mentioning anything else of that aspect because you simply must enjoy discovering this yourself.
On the metal side of things, there is a rich world of characters in a particular metal scene. The relationships and situations were well-developed. There is a style and flavor that was well-crafted.
If you are acquainted with death metal, then you will enjoy some extra insight and you will laugh more than an average viewer, but this movie is not an inside joke. Anyone outside of metal can enjoy this.
I feel ashamed that I had pre-judged this, but that made me love the movie even more after it redeemed itself, and the redemption was fast, as in, less than ten minutes.
DEATH TO METAL is highly recommended for many reasons. It’s creative. The scenes sometimes masterfully mislead you toward the wrong predictions and then delight you with unexpected developments. It’s hard for me to refrain from giving you examples, but trust me, it’s for your benefit. The things I want to describe should be experienced by you when you see the movie for the first time.
This was very well done, and I wish great success to this remarkable film.
I have the Bluray, but the movie is available for streaming if you don’t mind contributing to the death of physical media.
I first became aware of Astron 6 when I saw their movie “Father’s Day” which I loudly proclaimed as being the best indie movie I had ever seen. The creators didn’t shy away from nudity, which is still of note because video merchants cater to imbeciles who are baffled by boobs.
I had purchased The Editor as soon as it was available, but I was distracted by other tasks that required my attention, and days turned into years. I finally experienced a viewing, and I must again crown Astron 6 as kings of indie film.
I will not mention the story. You will have to find out for yourself. What I will share is that the movie is outstanding. I found myself dazzled. Being that I know that these are indie directors, I wondered how the hell they accomplished what I saw. You might feel the same awe.
There is a sense of parody, but if you have never seen movies that get a bit of a nod, it won’t diminish your enjoyment. The dialogue at times made me howl because it was surprising and refreshingly clever.
Some of the actions on screen were unexpected, and at times, made me laugh so loudly that I even startled myself. I had to rewind because I was stuck admiring the comical creativity and replayed the hilarity in my mind instead of catching up to what was on screen.
Of course, this movie is not really a comedy, or at least not a comedy meant for a simple-minded American audience. When the laughter was evoked from me, it felt like an involuntary act. I laughed hard, almost as if I were vomiting the unfun parts of my psyche. It was a pleasure to watch this masterpiece.
Speaking of pleasure, there is a fair amount of nudity, of the highest quality beauty.
I was surprised to see celebrities, most notably Paz de la Huerta, whom I first saw in Enter the Void, and then drooled again in Boardwalk Empire. She also is part of the behind-the-scenes, and her personality therein makes me love her even more.
Paz De La Huerta
The making-of chapter made me aware of some of the hassles that the creators experienced, but they did not let obstacles destroy them. Bravo!
This is an exceptional movie that excites on many levels. It is HIGHLY recommended, even if you are stupid.
I regret that I saw the movie MEDIEVAL. Visually, the color was desaturated, making it almost gray for many parts, and many shots were blown out, which made me wonder if the camera operator was drunk. Was it a stylistic choice? If so, it sucks. Shoot it properly next time you get work.
The scenes were composed of shots that rarely lasted more than five seconds. Most shots were close-ups, with an occasional longer shot to show that people changed position. It was ridiculous.
Three of the characters looked exactly alike, so for half the movie I thought they were the same person.
Some of the Europeans were played by other ethnicities, so that blew away any chance of this being seen as a historical tale, even though it was based on a historical figure. Yes, I said it. As soon as the first non-European appeared, it stopped being a serious movie and instead became a commercial product without artistic merit. Even a bad historical fiction movie makes me wonder about the period of the tale, and seeing things that should not be there blast me out of the story.
The dialogue was ridiculous and had a lot of modern slang and modern sayings.
I felt deceived, but prior to my purchase, I knew that it was probably garbage because it was a new movie and probably targeted for “modern audiences” which makes me wonder if I will find an exception.
Although this is a Tiawanese movie, some of the characters speak some English. I like the subtitles when they appear because I try to guess which sounds match the translated words, and I try to remember them.
The movie reminds me of how I felt when I saw HOSTEL. It’s not the same story and it is by no means an imitation.
Before I continue, I must get through the most important characteristic. Yes, there are boobs, specifically, those of Maria Ozawa. Why do I state this? It’s because the absence of boobs means that the movie is a cop-out. I don’t want to see PG-rated horror, and if a movie gets an R-rating because someone said “fuck” more than seven times, it’s still a PG-rated movie in my eyes. If viewers are too squeamish to see boobs, then everything else is going to suck too. Being afraid of nudity means the filmmaker is afraid, not bold, no matter how much blood is seen. So bravo, Kevin Ko!
Maria Ozawa
I also want to mention that the boobs are actually touched, which is a natural thing to do yet it remains absent from most cash-grab movies.
I don’t give away story or plot because the only thing that I want to know before watching a movie is if it is worth the investment of my time to watch it, but I will say that for the most part, I found myself interested in the tale, specifically of the protagonist. Of course, this is a horror movie, so bad decisions get made by characters, some coincidences occur that seem like plot points rather than story points (yes, there is a difference), but this is not a realistic set of situations. It’s for entertainment.
Yes, there is gore. There was a scene in which a mouse was going to be subjected to torture, to show what will happen to the human. I had to turn my eyes away. I didn’t want to hate the director in case this was a real death of an animal. I didn’t look back at the screen until after the audio indicated that the shots were over.
There was an interesting twist on the prejudices between classes of wealth and poverty, which I will let you discover on your own. It’s refreshing to see a writer who revamps common themes.
Returning to the gore, I will only say that this movie contains ample amounts, but the entertainment value comes from the tension of the scenes.
This was a fun ride, and I found myself thinking about the movie even a few days after watching it. It’s horror, so I can’t object to some of the things that would raise a few questions if the genre were different.
This isn’t one of the movies that are made for “modern audiences” so a girl that is barely over a hundred pounds does not beat up a dozen men. There is no bending of physics in this movie. The only superhuman element of any character may perhaps be the level of bravery, or even level-headed thinking in a dire situation, that you root for. There is no propaganda, not even in the aforementioned differences between social classes. There is no idealism; just a fun romp in a movie that satisfies in tension-building, great characters, gore, and a good pair of tits that are actually fondled.
