Category Archives: Black Metal

Black Metal is chiefly characterized by vocals that sound like Edith Bunker from “All in the Family” although some bands have decided to actually have masculine vocals, if only briefly. Black Metal riffs feature more dissoant chords and are more simple, or basic, and can sometimes even be described as “thrashy.” The drums are also usually more basic, and the same simple beat can last for long duration without a fill.

Vondur

Interview with ALL conducted by Bill Zebub for issue #13 of THE GRIMOIRE OF EXALTED DEEDS magazine.

The person known as “It” has left the scene. Why did that happen?

Mainly I think it was because he was fed up with music and black metal and everything. I think he wanted a break.

I am rather suspicious about that. I think that it is a marketing ploy and that the next album will be promoted as the triumphant return of It.

(laughs) Yeah. Maybe. He has completely disappeared. Only his sister knows where he is.

In Europe CDs are packaged as digi-packs. In America, Vondur is packaged in a very strange way. It is in a very big box.

Uh huh.

It is a very big box, and it is red. It does not have the name “Vondur” on it. It has thy name, “ALL.”

What?

There are commercials for it on American television. In them, there is a mother washing her clothes, and her child is pointing to the album, which is a big red box, and the child so speaks the letters “A-L-L” – hast thou heard of this?

No.

I thought it was strange that Necropolis would actually advertise an album on television, especially during soap operas.

Yeah. Me too. I did an interview earlier today where a guy heard some rumors about IT – that he left the scene because he received death threats from a lot of black people and Jewish people for the “War” album. and now THIS.

There is a subculture of homosexual Jewish people. They can be identified by their use of the word “wonderful” to describe things. In Germany, it is VONDUR-bar.

Yeah.

In Germany, there are gay bars called “Vondur” bars. I was wondering if that embarrasses thee.

I’t s a pretty poor stretch.

This article is thy chance to tell the truth that the posters of thy album in Vondur bars is not thy idea.

Yeah. Not my idea. Write that in capital letters.

Vondur
Vondur

Art thou angry that Joker is promoting thy album and that he is only four feet tall?

Four feet tall? (laughs)

Yes. He is very small.

Actually, IT is very small too. What he lacks in physical strength he makes up for in psychological stature.

Joker writes for the magazine PIT, and it rhymes with IT.

We never got to see each other.

Dost thou think than anyone in EMPEROR looks feminine?

Yeah. They all do.

Dost thou have a picture of Herve in thy house (editor’s note – the label head of Osmose)

No. I don’t.

Who is more handsome, Herve, or Paul from Necropolis?

I like Paul. Mainly for his car.

Paul speaks in a fake English accent because he wants everyone to believe that he is English. England was the first country that had a black metal band, so he wants Necropolis to appear to be a true black metal label.

What band was that? Venom?

It was Paul’s own band, actually. It was called “Pinky.” He gave Quorton his first lesson.

That’s true. I was there.

Americans do not know much about the Swedish government. Thy police do not have guns. They have flowers.

We live by some stupid thing called “Democracy” which kind of destroys thew country. We have a long and glorious history of strong kings and war. I thought that I would get together with our present king who has no power at all, and talk him into a military coup against the government and take the power. Then I will dethrone him.

Is this to have a national anthem with a thrash beat?

Yeah, and so I can get free liquor.

jesus, the Daughter of god
jesus, the Daughter of god

I heard that if a school has a black person in it, the Swedish national anthem cannot be sung.

That’s true. They forbid the national anthem because it is considered racist.

Does the Swedish national anthem have lyrics like “We have blonde hair and we like to kill niggers?”

Nothing like that. Praise of country.

Because of thy feelings about Norway, wouldst thou kill everyone like Hitler wanted to do to Polaks?

I would use them for slave labor.

I heard that in Sweden, the mosquito is a sacred creature.

That’s true. It’s forbidden for a christian Swede to even think about hurting a mosquito.

Swedes think that a mosquito was the first creature to ever drink the blood of Jesus. In case thou hast not noticed, I do not actually like to talk about music.

Yes. I have noticed that.

Metal bands demonstrate humor

You may have heard that some bands promote the pussification of metal. like BENIGHTED, which some people call “Be-Nutted” – but the following video shows metal people who have no fear of humor.

Please support bands that promote independence, not conformity and cowardice.

Pussification
Pussification

Mayhem interview with hellhammer

This interview with Hellhammer, drummer of Mayhem, was conducted by Bill Zebub for Issue #12 of The Grimoire of Exalted Deeds magazine, which was published in time for the Milwaukee Metalfest (the year of publication is not currently known, but Mayhem played)

Didst thou have sex with Kim from Ancient? Wilt thou back down from John McEntee if he challenges thee to a duel?

First of all, I back down from no one. And anyway, that other shit is, like, stupid rumors that follow me. You know?

Whatever happened to Popeye, the vocalist on Die Mysteries Dom Sathanas?

Oh well… he ate too much spinach. He got married to Olive Oil, and we never saw him again.

Dost thou think that thou art wasting thy talent by drumming for a black metal band? Wouldn’t a death metal or grind band be more appropriate for thy skill?

I could play in any type of band, even pop, if I chose. And so, if I thought I was wasting my time, then I wouldn’t do what I do.

Thy new singer, the one who sounds like a cat choking on a hairball, tries to use clean vocals at times. Or is that a different fag? In any case, he sounds more gay than someone who was thrown out of a fag bar. Didst thou allow this, or wert thou outvoted by the other homosexuals in the band?

(sarcastically) Firstly, how come you know so much about facts? Maniac, the vocalist you talk about. is actually the original vocalist from twelve years ago. Have yo been to that homo bar that you speak about? I don’t understand what the fuck you’re talking about – outvoted – you stupid ass!

Are there any traces of Euronymous’s writing in the new material, or is the riffing created by someone who adored the fat fuck?

No. All material is solely ours shit-head.

I am curious why thou calleth thyself “Hellhammer.” Is it because thou wanted to believe that when people were praising the Hellhammer band created by Tom Gaybird Warrior that they were really praising thee?

No. Of course not. But I think that Helhammer is a way better name than Bill Zebub. What a ridiculous question! Even fags like yourself should know better!

Art thou exploiting the notoriety of the stabbing, or art thou trying to make the world forget about it? I am wondering if there is any pressure on thee to be a continuation of what was started.

To play Mayhem is no pressure. We just carry on, follow our path. And so yes, I am exploiting the stabbing – actually in the most cruel way. And if you don’t back off soon, you can be next!

Is it true that when thou were struggling for money, that thou made ice pops by putting drumsticks in cups of apple juice and freezing them, selling them to kids, telling them that they were the jellied brains of Euronymous?

I’ve heard many times that you have a short dick.

Is it true that some of thy songs were inspired by candy? I heard that, over there, it is common to buy bags of various candy.

How stupid can you be? Of course you are totally misinformed about this,the faggot that you are. But you know, I think that when it comes to drugs, that you could have an answer. you know, I hear that in the gay world they probably call drugs “chocolate” and that’s why maybe I think you are so easily confused.

I heard that Count Grishnak played the bass on thy album despite the protests of Euronymous’s parents. I heard that it was an inside joke that thou wert credited with the bass lines because, in freindlier times, Varg Vikernes sucked so bad that Euronymous used to say “Gay Hellhammer can play bass better.”

I heard many times that you have a short dick.

Didst thou ever give shelter to an annoying American?

Are you talking about Kim? By the way, she was the one who often talked about your dick size, and we all would have a great laugh at your expense.

I am hoping that thou wilt tell me which black metal bands not to listen to.

You better find out yourself. I know what you’re up to here.

What would thou say if I told thee that Judas Iscariot declared himself a more proficient drummer than thou art?

I couldn’t give a shit about it. If someone is bragging about themselves, so be it. That is not something I will do.

Wouldst thou say that drummers are the rarest musicians in underground music? There are tons of guitarists, but bands everywhere complain that they cannot find drummers. Or is it that not everyone can have the stamina to play that style?

At a certain extent it is true. I think that the heart of the complaint is finding good drummers. The underground drummers like Judas Iscariot guys are a dime a dozen.

Dost thou see improvement in the way that extreme drumming is recorded, or dost thou favor poor production?

I’ve been in the game for sixteen years now, and a poor production is for a poor musician. But it is understandable that also it is either a lack of money or a lack of technical ability to play. This was usual in the beginning. It’s accepted if you are an amateur.

I would like to end this chat with the opportunity for thee to insult me and to have the last word, as our history together has been full of insults which might have seemed as if I had the final say. Unleash thy wanton revenge upon me.

Actually, I am not going to do that since you will get off on it. You seem to be like a sado-masochist. But I’m sure that I will see you at the Milwaukee Metalfest bar, and we shall discuss these matters further. Thank you, and fuck off.

Hellhammer
Hellhammer

HATE – Tremendum (Napalm Records)

This is a well-produced album that is mostly black metal, guitar-wise, but there are other styles that come into play, especially with the presence of leads. The vocals are within the male spectrum, not the screechy-bitch staple of the genre.

I found a video that is a much better way to reveal the band. Enjoy.

Mayhem interview with Hellhammer

This is the first interview that Bill Zebub conducted with Hellhammer, the drummer of Mayhem, from issue #2 in 1993. To be fair, this is before Hellhammer had ever heard of Bill Zebub, so the replies to questions could have been like those given to children. There was no way that Hellhammer could have known how big the magazine was to become. Please don’t see this as any bravado from Bill Zebub, and do not see it as weak on the part of Hellhammer. It was a silly interview that I am sure Hellhammer did not take seriously. It is only re-printed here as a window back to an earlier time. Bill Zebub and Hellhammer met a few times in person over the years, and it was always a friendly encounter. If there will ever be another interview, it will be a chat between friends, but enjoy the chat before this was the case.

What art thy feelings on Euronymous’s death?

Things will go much faster. Mayhem has a new line-up. I can proceed more seriously without Euronymous.

Wert thou also a target?

No, but if those would like to try, then I knock them down.

Was thy position lost in the war?

You have to have a certain acknowledgement of The Circle to understand, but if you see it as power, that’s where I stand.

Dost thou believe that black metal has the vocals of Popeye the Sailor Man, while death metal is influenced by the Cookie Monster?

Mayhem’s vocals are a lot better than American vocals, which remind me of a dog with the flu.

Dost thou believe that wearing corpsepaint is a lesser form of transvestism?

Of course not, but if that’s turning you on, stay away!

Is it true that thou hast grown tame after the death of Euronymous?

No, not in any way at all. The Count did many a great favor by killing Euronymous.

Hast thou heard of Svarog? It is a barbarian black metal band from central Europe that is set to march against Norway, beating up all known black metal bands with their ancient weapons. (editor’s note – Bill Zebub made a 4-song cassette of Svarog. titled “Dyetski Voyaki” which was his test to see if black metal sold because of the music or because of the story. Bill Zebub invented a biography of a tribe of barbarians that Rome never conquered, and Czechoslovakia allowed a small region to self govern, sort of like the Amish in America. Bill Zebub played all instruments, and his lyrics, in Czech, were absurd, talking about how one should not allow gay spiders to crawl on his arm, or the words described the color and design of a woman’s handbag. The cassette sold out of two pressings on Elegy Records, after which Bill Zebub decided to make the tape out of print. He had proven his suspicion that it way hype, bit music, that sold. He also warned the Neckless Troll that he would one day reveal the prank, so fans might turn against the record label for the deception. Years later, the Neckless Troll and a drummer from a death metal band recorded four songs in a studio, to be part of a bigger album, but this project was not completed. Bill Zebu will resurrect this joke band soon)

I have never heard about any such thing before. With a name like Svarog, it is obvious that they are idiot children. They would be punished for trying.

Hellhammer
Hellhammer

DODECAHEDRON – Kwintessens (Season of Mist)

This is a deliciously demented album that should be heard at least once. I am providing a video clip that you should start hearing at the 1:08 mark if you are impatient, but let it ride out if you can.

The vocals make this much crazier than it would be if someone else performed, and I love the song so much that I would buy the album if it just contained this one tune. Beware! You might be charmed by it as I have been. I think that I have heard it 50 times in a row. I can’t get enough of the craziness.

I tested it by posting on my facebook page, and I am happy to report that people have almost immediately made purchases. Don’t let this masterpiece die the death of apathy.

Trollheims Grott – Aligned with the True Death (W.T.C. Productions)

This was dipped in black metal flavoring, but it has more than one drum beat, and the vocals aren’t the faggy screeching of someone trying to be like Edith Bunker from “All in the Family.”

The production is still a bit on the black metal side, favoring treble, and there are the usual dissonant chords. Here and there a bit of atmospherics get added. In one song, the vocals vaguely remind me of the first Infernal Majesty album.

My favorite song is “LXFR” which is the most unique on the album. That should be your gateway into the rest of the music.