I first became aware of Astron 6 when I saw their movie “Father’s Day” which I loudly proclaimed as being the best indie movie I had ever seen. The creators didn’t shy away from nudity, which is still of note because video merchants cater to imbeciles who are baffled by boobs.

I had purchased The Editor as soon as it was available, but I was distracted by other tasks that required my attention, and days turned into years. I finally experienced a viewing, and I must again crown Astron 6 as kings of indie film.

I will not mention the story. You will have to find out for yourself. What I will share is that the movie is outstanding. I found myself dazzled. Being that I know that these are indie directors, I wondered how the hell they accomplished what I saw. You might feel the same awe.

There is a sense of parody, but if you have never seen movies that get a bit of a nod, it won’t diminish your enjoyment. The dialogue at times made me howl because it was surprising and refreshingly clever.

Some of the actions on screen were unexpected, and at times, made me laugh so loudly that I even startled myself. I had to rewind because I was stuck admiring the comical creativity and replayed the hilarity in my mind instead of catching up to what was on screen.

Of course, this movie is not really a comedy, or at least not a comedy meant for a simple-minded American audience. When the laughter was evoked from me, it felt like an involuntary act. I laughed hard, almost as if I were vomiting the unfun parts of my psyche. It was a pleasure to watch this masterpiece.

Speaking of pleasure, there is a fair amount of nudity, of the highest quality beauty.

I was surprised to see celebrities, most notably Paz de la Huerta, whom I first saw in Enter the Void, and then drooled again in Boardwalk Empire. She also is part of the behind-the-scenes, and her personality therein makes me love her even more.

Paz De La Huerta

The making-of chapter made me aware of some of the hassles that the creators experienced, but they did not let obstacles destroy them. Bravo!

This is an exceptional movie that excites on many levels. It is HIGHLY recommended, even if you are stupid.

I regret that I saw the movie MEDIEVAL. Visually, the color was desaturated, making it almost gray for many parts, and many shots were blown out, which made me wonder if the camera operator was drunk. Was it a stylistic choice? If so, it sucks. Shoot it properly next time you get work.

The scenes were composed of shots that rarely lasted more than five seconds. Most shots were close-ups, with an occasional longer shot to show that people changed position. It was ridiculous.

Three of the characters looked exactly alike, so for half the movie I thought they were the same person.

Some of the Europeans were played by other ethnicities, so that blew away any chance of this being seen as a historical tale, even though it was based on a historical figure. Yes, I said it. As soon as the first non-European appeared, it stopped being a serious movie and instead became a commercial product without artistic merit. Even a bad historical fiction movie makes me wonder about the period of the tale, and seeing things that should not be there blast me out of the story.

The dialogue was ridiculous and had a lot of modern slang and modern sayings.

I felt deceived, but prior to my purchase, I knew that it was probably garbage because it was a new movie and probably targeted for “modern audiences” which makes me wonder if I will find an exception.

Although this is a Tiawanese movie, some of the characters speak some English. I like the subtitles when they appear because I try to guess which sounds match the translated words, and I try to remember them.

The movie reminds me of how I felt when I saw HOSTEL. It’s not the same story and it is by no means an imitation.

Before I continue, I must get through the most important characteristic. Yes, there are boobs, specifically, those of Maria Ozawa. Why do I state this? It’s because the absence of boobs means that the movie is a cop-out. I don’t want to see PG-rated horror, and if a movie gets an R-rating because someone said “fuck” more than seven times, it’s still a PG-rated movie in my eyes. If viewers are too squeamish to see boobs, then everything else is going to suck too. Being afraid of nudity means the filmmaker is afraid, not bold, no matter how much blood is seen. So bravo, Kevin Ko!

I also want to mention that the boobs are actually touched, which is a natural thing to do yet it remains absent from most cash-grab movies.

I don’t give away story or plot because the only thing that I want to know before watching a movie is if it is worth the investment of my time to watch it, but I will say that for the most part, I found myself interested in the tale, specifically of the protagonist. Of course, this is a horror movie, so bad decisions get made by characters, some coincidences occur that seem like plot points rather than story points (yes, there is a difference), but this is not a realistic set of situations. It’s for entertainment.

Yes, there is gore. There was a scene in which a mouse was going to be subjected to torture, to show what will happen to the human. I had to turn my eyes away. I didn’t want to hate the director in case this was a real death of an animal. I didn’t look back at the screen until after the audio indicated that the shots were over.

There was an interesting twist on the prejudices between classes of wealth and poverty, which I will let you discover on your own. It’s refreshing to see a writer who revamps common themes.

Returning to the gore, I will only say that this movie contains ample amounts, but the entertainment value comes from the tension of the scenes.

This was a fun ride, and I found myself thinking about the movie even a few days after watching it. It’s horror, so I can’t object to some of the things that would raise a few questions if the genre were different.

This isn’t one of the movies that are made for “modern audiences” so a girl that is barely over a hundred pounds does not beat up a dozen men. There is no bending of physics in this movie. The only superhuman element of any character may perhaps be the level of bravery, or even level-headed thinking in a dire situation, that you root for. There is no propaganda, not even in the aforementioned differences between social classes. There is no idealism; just a fun romp in a movie that satisfies in tension-building, great characters, gore, and a good pair of tits that are actually fondled.

I will watch ANY movie by M. Night Shyamalan, and when I saw this Blu(e)ray on a store shelf, I bought it without needing to read the synopsis or anything else.
I do not regret having purchased this, but I do have questions and criticism, but before I delve into the dark, I want to repeat that I enjoyed watching the movie. The bonus material was also enjoyable, especially the exploration into Shyamalan’s filming style for this movie.

Before I get to the spoilers, let me state that there were some interesting situations that were created by the aging process, and there were some compelling group dynamics. I won’t spoil those.

SPOILERS

The more I thought about the movie, the more I poked at some holes. When I watch a movie, I want to be immersed in the world. I make a deal with the movie, as a viewer, to believe the rules of the story world. I do not watch as a critic.

The people who are on the beach are unable to leave, but wouldn’t that barrier make them unable to enter? I will watch the movie again to see if I missed an explanation, but I suspect that if there is one, it will be cheesy. For the story to work, people can only leave via a tunnel, an exit that will likely result in drowning.

The premise of the movie is that evil pharmaceutical people are experimenting upon unwilling recipients, which would never be allowed in the real world because of ethics (not a philosophy – it’s a part of the design of an experiment). Maybe there has been a fake story of how a medicine was discovered (that hides how a person being raped by an elephant produced the particular form of adrenaline… but the official reported story is that elephants that were rescued from poachers had blood tests, and the adrenaline that was produced while having a tusk removed proved to be an incredible medicine for humans).

The beach ages people very quickly. This is used to test medicine on a fast track, rather than waiting decades to see the result. In real life, experiments are performed on creatures that have short life spans because of the quicker results, but this more has to do with seeing many generations, like if you make a pill that increases dick size, would that altering of genetics have results down the lineage of the big-dicked creature?

Each doomed person (experimental rat) is given only ONE dose, disguised in an alcoholic beverage. Isn’t this silly? “Wow, we can examine what happens to a person throughout his entire life span from just a single dose.” In this movie, a woman was cured of epilepsy from a single dose. Well, relatively cured. I think she was estimated to have been cured for sixteen years.

The more I thought about the movie, the more I suspected that plot-points were forced and weak justifications were put into place to make the story flow according to the main ideas, with everything stitched up in a neat bow at the end of the movie, which came off as “contrived.”

I eventually came to the conclusion that this, like many works by the director (and others in science fiction) were enveloping their ideas in story-situations that expressed the personal idea (of the creator). Much material in movies in unrealistic, like fiery explosions in space, or blood spurts from a gun shot. Fiction can be realistic, but fiction is not meant to be a newscast of a real event. It is meant for the reader or viewer (or listener) to enter the world of the creator.

Changing my perspective made me look at the movie the right way – to enjoy the dream of Shyamalan, a dream experienced at Night. (Get it?)