Vondur

Interview with ALL conducted by Bill Zebub for issue #13 of THE GRIMOIRE OF EXALTED DEEDS magazine.

The person known as “It” has left the scene. Why did that happen?

Mainly I think it was because he was fed up with music and black metal and everything. I think he wanted a break.

I am rather suspicious about that. I think that it is a marketing ploy and that the next album will be promoted as the triumphant return of It.

(laughs) Yeah. Maybe. He has completely disappeared. Only his sister knows where he is.

In Europe CDs are packaged as digi-packs. In America, Vondur is packaged in a very strange way. It is in a very big box.

Uh huh.

It is a very big box, and it is red. It does not have the name “Vondur” on it. It has thy name, “ALL.”

What?

There are commercials for it on American television. In them, there is a mother washing her clothes, and her child is pointing to the album, which is a big red box, and the child so speaks the letters “A-L-L” – hast thou heard of this?

No.

I thought it was strange that Necropolis would actually advertise an album on television, especially during soap operas.

Yeah. Me too. I did an interview earlier today where a guy heard some rumors about IT – that he left the scene because he received death threats from a lot of black people and Jewish people for the “War” album. and now THIS.

There is a subculture of homosexual Jewish people. They can be identified by their use of the word “wonderful” to describe things. In Germany, it is VONDUR-bar.

Yeah.

In Germany, there are gay bars called “Vondur” bars. I was wondering if that embarrasses thee.

I’t s a pretty poor stretch.

This article is thy chance to tell the truth that the posters of thy album in Vondur bars is not thy idea.

Yeah. Not my idea. Write that in capital letters.

Vondur
Vondur

Art thou angry that Joker is promoting thy album and that he is only four feet tall?

Four feet tall? (laughs)

Yes. He is very small.

Actually, IT is very small too. What he lacks in physical strength he makes up for in psychological stature.

Joker writes for the magazine PIT, and it rhymes with IT.

We never got to see each other.

Dost thou think than anyone in EMPEROR looks feminine?

Yeah. They all do.

Dost thou have a picture of Herve in thy house (editor’s note – the label head of Osmose)

No. I don’t.

Who is more handsome, Herve, or Paul from Necropolis?

I like Paul. Mainly for his car.

Paul speaks in a fake English accent because he wants everyone to believe that he is English. England was the first country that had a black metal band, so he wants Necropolis to appear to be a true black metal label.

What band was that? Venom?

It was Paul’s own band, actually. It was called “Pinky.” He gave Quorton his first lesson.

That’s true. I was there.

Americans do not know much about the Swedish government. Thy police do not have guns. They have flowers.

We live by some stupid thing called “Democracy” which kind of destroys thew country. We have a long and glorious history of strong kings and war. I thought that I would get together with our present king who has no power at all, and talk him into a military coup against the government and take the power. Then I will dethrone him.

Is this to have a national anthem with a thrash beat?

Yeah, and so I can get free liquor.

jesus, the Daughter of god
jesus, the Daughter of god

I heard that if a school has a black person in it, the Swedish national anthem cannot be sung.

That’s true. They forbid the national anthem because it is considered racist.

Does the Swedish national anthem have lyrics like “We have blonde hair and we like to kill niggers?”

Nothing like that. Praise of country.

Because of thy feelings about Norway, wouldst thou kill everyone like Hitler wanted to do to Polaks?

I would use them for slave labor.

I heard that in Sweden, the mosquito is a sacred creature.

That’s true. It’s forbidden for a christian Swede to even think about hurting a mosquito.

Swedes think that a mosquito was the first creature to ever drink the blood of Jesus. In case thou hast not noticed, I do not actually like to talk about music.

Yes. I have noticed that.

Metal bands demonstrate humor

You may have heard that some bands promote the pussification of metal. like BENIGHTED, which some people call “Be-Nutted” – but the following video shows metal people who have no fear of humor.

Please support bands that promote independence, not conformity and cowardice.

Pussification
Pussification

benighted cry about an interview

The gay fake-metal band BENIGHTED did something that no other band in history has done – they tried to get an interview removed.

Their publicist fraudulently filed a copyright claim, but this was done as a nuisance tactic to pull the interview. She has been notified that there is a video consent/release, and she is personally liable (the record label head said that this is HER action, not the record label’s) Her first name is KATY. Future record companies will know not to hire her due to her ignorance and juvenile tactics. Would you hire someone who embarrasses your record label?

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

“The lady doth protest too much” Do you know what that means? If you have nothing to hide, why would you react so dramatically?

A couple of days after the interview, the publicist Emailed this:

“I have spoken with the band and I must politely ask that you do not run the interview in any capacity. The band doesn’t feel that the interview will represent them well as they were confused and caught off guard by your questions and humor. Perhaps in the future, they will think differently about the interview, but right now we cannot let it run.

Thank you for understanding!

-Katy”

I thought that this was a joke so I ignored it. A day later, I received a youtube notification that someone had filed a copyright claim.

The interview will run, and it will also begin with the band giving consent. (This business part of the video is usually only for lawyers, but it will be shown on youtube with an explanation that Katy Twatburger from Season of Mist will try to have the footage removed, so this is proof of consent, and of Katy being a twat) But it’s not just that the band was given consent, they had an additional freedom. Whenever video interviews are made, the artists are told that if any question is not acceptable, then to just look into the camera and say “Do not use this.” The artists are also allowed to try to answer the question again in case they flub or they reveal things that they shouldn’t.

No band has ever invoked that, but BENIGHTED had the chance to do this. Why did BENIGHTED say things when they knew that they were being recorded?

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

News of this cowardly behavior was posted on social media sites. Even bands that have wanted to fight Bill Zebub came to his defense. As much as anyone has ever wanted to punch Bill Zebub, no one has ever asked that an interview be removed.

What could have been the reason for the band being afraid of the interview?


The label head said that BIll Zebub was drunk and asked nazi questions. Bill Zebub couldn’t believe that this was a serious reply. This response also seemed to be a joke. Is it really possible that in all of the interviews since 1993, there is a surprise that Bill Zebub conducts interview while drunk, or that he asks ridiculous questions? That has been the entire span of the Grimoire.

Bill Zebub re-watched the interview to discover if there were any nazi questions, and the only such question was a joke. Bill Zebub was ridiculing the vocalist’s baldness and asked if he were a nazi skinhead or if he was just bald.

To compare, Bill Zebub asked the drummer of VOIVOD “Are you a nazi?” but the whole band laughed. They knew that it was a ridiculous question. No one could possibly think this is a real question. It’s stupid.

Can it be that something is being hidden? Why have such a panic over a joke? Is there a past that isn’t on the surface?

In digging for more possible jokes that the singer and lisping drummer may have been afraid of, there was an actual serious question that was asked out of genuine curiosity. It had to do with opinions about moslem migrants. Could this be what the band was afraid of? The lisping drummer talked about his feelings on the matter, of how it is a problem not just for France but also for Europe, and after a few remarks he and the effeminate vocalist indicated that they like to talk about this privately. What more do they say in private life?

Still, the band could have said, “We don’t want to answer this question” and the next question would come.

The band was also asked if France had the same anti-semitism as Russia or Germany, but in the era of the second world war. But no matter what the question was, humorously spoken or seriously asked, there should be no such childish behavior like asking mommy to get the interview removed

Could this band handle a live interview? Would they try to ask a radio station to turn back time?

A remix of this interview, including the consent, is being prepared. Blogs, video channels, and torrent sites are currently awaiting the receipt of a re-edit of the video in which ONLY the silly questions are asked. It’s fine. The band is mediocre, as are the responses.

In addition, the printed form of the interview will be available after additional footage is encoded (to glean more answers). There was a girl who smelled the band to see if French have poor hygiene.

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

The world of metal has been attacked by outsiders, but now, bands like BENIGHTED are behaving in ways that are NOT metal. Well, they were not completely embraced by metal anyway. During the tour with ABORTED AND CRYPTOPSY, many patrons stayed in the bar having conversations instead of seeing the mediocre copycat band BENIGHTED play on the outdoor stage.

It is unmanly to ask a journalist to take down an interview. This interview was presented in dialogue form (you heard the question and you heard the answer). This means that it was impossible to take out of context, and all flubs were presented.

Why would the band talk for an HOUR if they didn’t want the interview spread? We shall see.

Do not support a band that behaves this way. Do not support censorship. Do not support bands and publicist who use nuisance tactics. Do not support males who have been feminized. Do not support fascists.

Action will be taken against the publicist for making bogus claims, but for now, let he behavior be known.

After a few posts about the behavior, the publicist wrote:

“You can keep posting and yelling but I will keep reporting, removing, and filing legal claims as I did with the original video in question.

In any case, thanks for bringing Benighted to the attention of so many. Your fruitless efforts to drag them on social media has only introduced many new fans to their music. The more you cry about the band, the more clicks we get. So thanks for doing that solid for us!”

Gayness of Benighted
Gayness of Benighted

The printed interview will be available soon. If you want the video footage for your blog, youtube, vimeo, or anything else, Email bill@billzebub.com

Gayness of Benighted